N'awlins at heart

Friday, October 23, 2009

"Imma come back to this Wendy's, it makes me feel like I'm home."

We decided to do something fast and easy for dinner, so we hit up Wendy's. I have to say this is the worst Wendy's ever. We had to wait in line for 10 minutes before this brain surgeon took our order. Which wouldn't be too bad, except we were the only people in the restaurant.

When it came time to place my order, the conversation went something like this:

"What can I getcha?"

"A #2, no tomatoes, no onions."

"You want the combo?"

"Naw, just the fries."

I mean seriously, isn't the #2 a combo? Once we finished ordering she starts to put the food on the tray and she put down 2 orders of fries. I immediately picked one order up and tossed it over the counter and yelled "Dumbass! That was supposed to be a chili!".

Okay, actually that's what I thought, instead I pointed at one and said "Um, that was supposed to be a chili." So she said "Aw, just keep the extra fries", and made my chili. We sat down to eat and the fun ensued.

The couple after us ordered 4 combo's. Lucky for them, another lady who actually had her shit together started taking the orders. And barking them. The 4 combos happened to be Baconators! And the brain surgeon that took our order only had enough bacon to make 3. So the demanding cashier tells brain surgeon to cook more bacon in the oven.

"Which button do I push?"

"The one that says Cook Bacon." And she called it out loud! Ms. Dorothy from Circle K style.

Seriously. It was coming from the kitchen and it made me miss the Big Easy.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

*"You should be more flexible."

Those of you who know me, know I am late. Sorry, that's what you get. Deal with it.

My hours are 9-6 but I usually roll in around 9:10 - 9:15. Well on Friday our entire group received an email from my boss saying everyone needs to be here by 9:00 at the latest.

I have no problem with this. (Okay, actually I have a big problem with this, but whatever.) He on the other hand is now learning a lesson on flexibility himself. If he has a problem with me being 10-15 minutes late in the morning, I suddenly have a problem staying 30 - 60 minutes late off the clock EVERY day to try to get all of my work done. Especially when I eat lunch at my desk and continue to work 3-4 days a week. Not any more.

So Monday, I arrived at 8:40 and promptly left at 5:40. Yesterday was another 8:40 - 5:40 day. I was a little slow today so it looks like I'm here until 5:55. I wonder how long it will take those jerks that like to show up at 6:00 to ask for my "help" at the last second every day to catch on to my new hours. (I say that like I care.)

The door swings both ways. I'm just saying. If it hasn't been a problem for the last 2 years why is it one now? Either way they're losing out on 2-5 extra hours a week unpaid, and I get to head home before the sun goes down.

* A message from my big boss to one of my co-workers who does the 8-5 shift.

Sunday, October 18, 2009


Awesome Saints game. I sat and watched the entire game. Pretty impressive. Not a good weekend to run out of blood pressure medication. 48 - 27. Not bad, not bad at all.

They owned the dome like I own Billy Gillette's football.

Good game!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

You need to relax.

I had a job dropped in my lap last Thursday that upset me a bit. To top it off, the guy who was originally tasked with the job tried to throw me under the bus about giving him attitude. I'm going to do your job because your boss changed his mind and doesn't want you to do it? Damn right I'm giving you attitude, and I'll call you out in our conversation while I'm at it.

So our guys get the task done, save the day, blah blah blah. Today I run into the guy while I'm reading some paperwork up front putting out more fires. And the douchebag tells me "You should start smoking, it's a great stress release." So once again I had to give this guy a little attitude.

And not that I'm counting but Friday will be 7 months.

"I'm not going to give myself diabetes just because this coffee sucks."

That was the comment my replacement made a few days ago, and I felt it was noteworthy.

Speaking of my replacement, once again my boss gets the short end of the stick. Coworker R has moved on to another group. You know the drill. Follow the money. So my replacement from my old job (Coworker V) is now doing Coworker R's job. Coworker V's replacement has not arrived. He was supposed to start Monday but there is an issue with the background investigation. And since this is Coworker V's friend, V has got to be shitting himself. He said it has something to do with the guy having a top secret clearance at a previous job, although I would image that would do everything but hold up his current background investigation. But that's just me. In the meantime my original job position is unfilled, again, and my boss doesn't have anyone to test his stuff, again. Sucks to be him I guess.

To top it all off, Coworker V is going to Taiwan for a week and a half to be trained on his job. While he is gone, guess who gets to cover for him. That's right, this guy! So not only are we short 2 guys (1 being a new hire who will need to be trained. I wonder who is going to have to train him how to do the job I use to do.) I get to do my normal job, train a new guy, and manage the servers.

Speaking of work I must be setting my sights towards management. I found myself wondering how messed up it would be to fire someone by recorded message. Hear me out.

Johnny gets an e-vite to a conference call regarding some new product. He's all psyched because he's heard rumors about this badass product coming out, and he's gonna be on the team. He dials in and puts in an access code only to hear "If you have been directed to dial this number, your services are no longer needed at "insert company". Please gather your belongings and someone will arrive shortly to walk you off property." Saves the trouble of having to face the person getting fired.

Yeah, I agree. That's pretty messed up. I believe you may see that person at work again, wearing camouflage. I'm just saying.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Where is my mind?

Our friend Owen is in town so we've been staying up a bit late. We went to sleep at 1:00 AM and I woke up this morning at 8:00 AM. The reason for this was a bit crazy. I was dreaming Uncle Fester was trying to sexually assault me. Not an actor, or someone who looks like him. It was The Uncle Fester. I was punching him to keep him away, but he kept trying to grope me.

It was really strange and I ended up finding a hatchet on the bathroom sink (not ours, I'm not sure whose house we were in, The Addams home maybe). I had to hit him in the back of the head with the hatchet. After hitting him 2-3 times with the back side of the hatchet I woke up. I laid there for about 45 minutes but could not fall back asleep. So I got up and started a pot of coffee. How's that for an interesting and exciting start of your day?

What was all that about?

On another note we were talking with a Realtor and she mentioned "cooking a house". I had never heard of this but apparently it's a way to commit insurance fraud. She said they spray the bottoms of the walls with water, then they turn up the heater to about 80-90 degrees and leave for 2 weeks. Apparently the heat and moisture will cause a lot of mold. Now in my opinion, if you are smart enough to think up that scheme, you should be smart enough to teach science.