N'awlins at heart

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Just gangsta!

Seriously. Stevie Wonder is just freakin awesome!!!

On another note, we quit smoking. Yes, I'm sure you already know but 7:15 tomorrow morning we will start day 14 of not smoking. It is no fun but it is okay. We are still getting cravings but they pass. One of the main cravings is food. I have eaten more grapes, pistachios and sunflower seeds than I care to remember. But no cigarettes.

That's when Satan's little helper arrived. They say you gain 10-20 lbs when you quit smoking, well these bastards ain't helping. (You can keep going but don't blame me if you gain weight from reading this post.) We were doing our regular grocery shopping when a woman appeared asking if we were full fledged card carrying members of this particular food establishment. We certainly were, and our reward came in the form of free desert.

These things are the greatest. I am going to gain so much weight now that I have discovered it only takes 30 seconds for me to have fresh baked cake. And 45 seconds for brownies. I'm not kidding, these things rule! Well worth it. And I can blme quitting smoking on the weight gain. Life is not as bad as it seems.

I'm very familiar.

First off, what the hell is this? Pancakes in an aerosol can? Sweet? I only know about this because I actually saw it in our local grocery store. Not some crazy link someone at work sent me, on the shelves at the actual grocery store, between the egg beaters and the spicy hash browns.

When I was in high school (late 80's, whatever, shut up!) they bitched about aerosol hair spray killing the ozone layer. But it's all good here because it's pancakes. And pancakes are delicious.

It does look pretty convenient though, I ain't gonna lie. To clean up all you gotta do is lick the nozzle. Or wipe it off. Something like that, watch the video.

So I LOVE spike TV. They have all sorts of reality nonsense. Don't get me wrong, I truly LOATHE the reality shows of the past (way too many) years, but the caught on camera stuff kills me. They use the term fisticuffs, how can you not love it? I could watch it 24/7. No doubt.

Today we were feeding my addiction and "Disorder in the court (2)" came on television. They are showing crazy nonsense occurring in courtrooms. Which lead me to make the comment "Of all the times I've been to court, I have never seen this craziness. How come out of all the times I've been to court, nobody ever acts up like that?".

Now the thing that gets me is, I think I actually go to court more of then than the average American. I have nothing to base this assumption on, but I stand by it. And it's always a traffic issue. Maybe it's because I get a lawyer instead of just paying the fine. Either way, I have spent more time in courtrooms than I ever wanted to, or specifically plan on.

What works my nerves the most is I consider myself an excellent driver. I am very alert, constantly planning ahead, and watching out for what the other person may be about to do. Zero accidents people.

Okay one, but it doesn't count since I got rear ended at a red light. Okay picture this. The first half of Kenellie is cruising with me in the old Mazda. Awesome little truck! First and best car I ever owned. Hands down! Anyway we get to the light where McArthur merges into Gen Degaulle. We're on DeGualle stopped at the light and my little bro is enjoying his smoothie. After about 3 minutes at the light I look in the rear view mirror just in time to see a truck doing the speed limit or more (35 mph) right into the back of my poor truck. He didn't even try to slow down.

Smoothie was everywhere. Especially on the dashboard and in the vents of my beloved little 2.2 litre tank. For the record, when smoothies bake in the Louisiana sun they ROT! Good times. At least there was no A/C in the truck so the windows were always down. That's how I roll!

Either way, I want to apologize to W1. Sorry about the 15 years of fines and fees. ;)

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Makin' my bills all high.

About 2 years ago, the toll tag company here for the beltway switched to these stickers with a microchip instead of the regular plastic tags. They emailed new stickers for each vehicle except the bike. They sent a letter saying they hadn't figured out how to make waterproof stickers for the bikes.

So twice a week they send me an email saying they noticed I still had one of the older "hard tags", and I could save the $1 a month rental fee, by switching to the sticker tag. Which is fine, except you can't use the sticker tags on the bike because they are not waterproof.

W1 called them a week or two ago to update our account information, credit card, etc... The lady informed her we had the $1 a month hard tag and we should turn it in for the free sticker tag. So W1 told her to go ahead and send one.

Yesterday I went to the management office to pick up our package and when I opened it, guess what was in there. Another hard tag. Exactly like the one I already have. WTF? No wonder they went up on all of the tolls, they have to make up for the money they're squandering in postage sending people the exact thing they already have. And they were kind enough to pay the postage to return the old one that is exactly the same as the new one. (Okay, my trip one way to work probably covered that postage.)

On a bike note, Russell put a down payment on a new bike (his old '91 Ninja 750 caught on fire). The new one he's getting is an '08 1000 RR. I'm not jealous at all. Even though Owen put a down payment on the first bike I wanted (on my birthday no less) and now Russell is getting what I want now. Bastards! Hee Hee.

Friday, March 13, 2009

It's just because I'm funny. You people better recognize!

It has been a crazy couple of weeks. I am still learning my new job, and it's hard. But I don't mind the challenge. It is what it is. Ya know?

Like the other day. My boss' boss, is in my office helping me work on something. Getting frustrated, he finally tells me "Can we work on this in my cubicle? I need information off of my computer. Grab your notebook and follow me." So I grab my trusty 3 subject notebook, that I keep all of my training notes in, and lock my door behind me. He turns around and asks "What are you doing?" and I respond "Following you?". He says "Grab your notebook!" at which point I hold up trusty green and shake it at him. "I meant your computer!" Doh, I forgot they can't call them laptops anymore. Something about some guy who couldn't feel his legs getting 2nd degree burns on his lap. Lawyers were called. Monies were paid. History was made...

So I'm thinking I need to pay better attention to my undergarments. And throw them away when necessary. Not because they're funky with holes and stuff (they aren't). Just because it appears I have 2 particular pair that are extremely unkind to me. After a nice 8 hour day at work, W1 has to give me the tongs to remove them from bunching up in various areas. Just uncomfortable. (But probably not as uncomfortable as you guys feel visualizing this. Go ahead and picture it, I'll wait...)

So I receive an email from a coworker, asking for a computer. My reply was "No.". Nothing more, just flat out "No.". Just to be an ass hole. I was totally planning to give him one, I was just in one of those moods. His response was something about his foot up my ass, or something along those lines. At that point I responded "Let me tell you again in Spanish. No.". I know I use that one a lot but it's my favorite.

Earlier this week my boss was showing me how to order supplies through our purchasing software and it wasn't working well. He decided to have me click the home button and return to the main page. He tells me "Go home.". So I got up, grabbed my back pack and replied "Okay, see ya tomorrow.". He did not find it as amusing as I did. I'm sorry but that shit is funny.

I was on the phone with W1 earlier today. She was listening to dictation tapes and tells me "I gotta run, L just gave me a rush tape." To which I replied "Sweet! Which one? Moving Pictures? 2112?". Once again, that's just funny!

Okay, sorry but that's all I got for now. Happy belated birthday bro (I texted and called ya so that counts). Miss ya all!