N'awlins at heart

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Quit telling your kids how special they are, 'cause they're not...

I'm not talking to anyone specifically, so don't think I'm singling anyone out. Plus, if the kids are related to me, they already have that going for them, so we already know they're awesome.

Sorry this is what you get after waiting so long, but this is what you get. Deal with it.

My generation seems to coddle their young. Don't get me wrong, all parents love their children, but we've gone a bit extreme. Well, technically, every parent wants to keep thier children from the hardships they've endured, and give them a better life. So our parents are to blame too.

You see, I understand you love your child. And I understand they are beautiful. To you! To everyone else they do not matter. (Except in the case that they are related to me. If that is the case, they obviously rock!) The problem I am having is with all the parents continually telling there kids how great they are. And they grow up believing it.

Ok, are you all fuming yet? Have I struck a chord? I hope so, because here is my defense to throw back at ya.

One of my biggest gripes since we moved here is traffic. Something that has spilled over to NOLA. I have seen here, and heard stories from NOLA. (And don't think you all in Orlando get out of this one. All big cities are screwed as far as traffic is concerned.) But people on a 4 lane highway will actually come to a complete stop in the left (fast / PASSING) lane, and wait until it's clear to take the exit they "almost" missed. No regard for the other people on the road, or the accidents they just caused. And do you know why? Because they were told from day 1 how special and important they are. And guess what, they believe it.

Here's another scenerio. Rememer when you bought that brand new car? You love(d) that car. You would wash her every weekend. When you got out of work and looked at her, your heart would pound like you were in love. You see the bird shit on the roof and what do you do? That's right, you scratched it off with your fingernail. Ew, your bare hand. Come on, we're talking about poop here. You guys are gross. Anyway, back on track. Remember the first time you came out of the grocery store, and someone's discarded shopping cart is touching your new ride? Remember that feeling of rage, disappointment? You ran over to make sure it didn't scratch your baby. But did you ever wonder why it happened? Why would someone show total disregard for you and your property? Because maybe you aren't that special. (Unless related to me. See above.)

Now, the asshole who dented and scratched your new ride. They are special. At least that is what they were told from day 1. To that person, nobody else is as great as they are. They have their groceries in their car, and they're ready to continue on with their world revolving around them. They discard the cart behind your car, or just push it away. (Not concerned about the guy working on tips who has to go out in the rain and collect the cart carcases strewn across the parking lot.) Once that cart leaves their posession, it is not their problem. So it picks up speed and eventually kareens into the side of your new car at blazing speeds of 3-7mph. It is of no concern to them, you are not special, they are.

How about that time you were running late. You pulled up to the ATM and there was one car ahead of you. On this particular day, they feel the need to handle all of their banking needs at this very moment. In the drive through ATM. Once they are done, they sit there. Counting their cash (because if the machine shorted you, there is a lot you can do right that second, sitting in your car, at the unmanned ATM). Then they have to put their card away; then their wallet away. And so on, and so on. And you're sitting back there waiting. Guess why? Because you are not important. (Unless my relatives and blah blah blah...) To them you don't matter.

All I'm saying is, the next time you feel the urge to tell your child how special or important they are, think about it. They may be the next one to park over the line at your local Wal-Mart. Leaving you not quite enough room to squeeze in the space. Or standing at the register on their cell phone, with 80 items in the speedy checkout lane. And why should they care? They're the special ones. They have been from day 1.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007


Okay, sorry it has been forevah! But I's busy. As you all know from W1's blog, we watch a lot of To Catch a Predator. If you are not familiar with this program, thank you for crawling out from under your rock and reading my blog. Most if not all of these "predators" need to be punched in the face. And I'd be more than happy to do it. The amazing thing is that they are on season 3, and some of the people they catch recognize Chris Hanson from the show. (I would like his super power to make people "Have a seat right over there".) Which in turn means, they know people are getting caught, but they still go for it. Again, in need of a punch in the face.

Now with MSNBC's fabulous graphics department, while Chris (Yeah, we're on a first name basis.) is interviewing and discussing these people and their need to be punched in the face, er, I mean, sickness; They flash across the screen exerts from the chat logs. One of the actors who play "teens" in their chats, used the screen name JoJo_4_ShoSho. I'm sorry but I laughed so hard when I read it, I felt it was good enough for a blog title.

Okay, I rambled on way too much, and that was not where I was going with this post. If you haven't seen the show, check it out. "It's a good train, you should get on it".

Last weekend was the Lone Star Rally. It was awesome. There were bikes and people everywhere. We took a nice long ride down, and the short way back. I had a blast. One of the things I miss most about being in New Orleans is riding with family and friends. It's a much better feeling riding with people you are comfortable with. People who you know what move they are going to make before they do. Not that I dislike riding with people here, it's just unpredictable.

The rally basically takes over Galveston Beach (Yeah, that's snow. Must have been Christmas 2004.) and some of the streets nearby. What it also does is damn near turn I-45 into a parking lot. Hence the long ride down, we skipped all that crap. We all made it there and back safe, and had a good time in between. It was nice to show the family the area, and also give them hands on knowledge about why I complain about the traffic so often. Tell em Chia! Ha Ha Ha.

I do miss Steel Pony Express a lot too. It's like the Lone Star Rally, at the Kiefer UNO Lakefront Arena. (Sorry, I just like to say the whole name.) Then, once you leave, you're free to roam about the city.

Whoosh, I just jumped again. So I'm at work yesterday, hanging out front, and 4 guys walk out. 3 of them are dressed to the hilt. 3 piece suits, you know the drill. The 4th, well, all I can say is he wasn't. This Jerkface (Sea Lab 2021 reference) is rockin' the latest in shorts and black tee shirt fashion. And his tee shirt reads "Genius by birth. Slacker by choice" (Click the link, trust me.). Now in my opinion, (Sorry, I'm not a genius, but I got pretty damn close) a genius would be smart enough to wear something different in a corporate environment. I'm just saying.

I thought the guy was an idiot, and thought nothing more of it. Until last night. (Flash back to the Lone Star Rally). I started going through the pictures taken at Lone Star Rally 2007 (Yeah, I said it all official and shit.) and ran across one ChiaPop took for ChiaMom. It was a skeleton, dressed up and strapped onto the passenger seat of a bike. The thing that made me take a second look, was a guy standing on the curb wearing a black tee shirt. And guess what it said. Well, you don't have to guess, you can just look at the picture.

Up next, John Cougar Mellencamp with Authority Song. (If you haven't discovered, Youtube has every video ever made. But don't hold me to that.) Have you ever woke up with a song stuck in your head? Well, this morning that was my song. I don't have the slightest idea why. My best guess is that was on the radio one of the fifty times I hit snooze this morning. Normally it would not have been worth mentioning but there is a method to my madness. After I spent all morning showering, brushing my teeth, getting ready for work (all while singing this fine tune in my head) I jumped in the truck. (Cut me some slack, I got a lot of riding in this weekend and it was cold. I can leave the bike at home every now and then.) As soon as I sat down I realized I forgot my iPod. I just wasn't in the mood to walk back to the apartment so I went ahead and turned on Jack FM. They pretty much play whatever they feel like . I think it's their slogan, seriously. (Okay, I know some of you can see where this is going, if not, read along.) I sit down, start the truck, and put on the station. After the song that's on finishes, they play it. You know what I'm talking about, John Cougar Mellencamp's Authority Song. How crappy is that? You know how it is. You get a song stuck in your head, repeatedly, and as you go about your morning routine, it finally goes away. UNTIL THEY PLAYED IT AGAIN!

As usual, when it's been a while, I rambled on for another long post. My last opine involves blogger.com and other such services which are kind enough to underline what they consider misspellings in red. (Please don't delete me for this; Administrators of such a wonderful free service.) They are a bunch of illiterate jerk faces! (Sealab again. Who's paying attention?) Why do they underline okay in red? (When I right click my suggested word is Tokay. What the Hell is that?) Which is the proper spelling for OK. But if I type a lowercase i as in "I", the red is nowhere to be found.

JERKFACES! I rest my case.