N'awlins at heart

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Parental Advisory. Mom, don't read. (AL) May contain situations...

So my friend has a 1971 Mustang. It's pretty sweet. He tore apart the engine almost a year ago to rebuild it. There were issues with the engine block, etc... So he finally brought it to a local place that works on race cars. Like the owner has 2 daughters who stock car race.

Long story short, the guy rebuilt it with a custom engine. Custom like, he manufactured his own cam shaft among other things.

So he finally got his car back last night. And it sounds mean. (Note: The video is actually before the custom rebuild, it actually idles even slower than that.) The lope makes it sound like it's about to stall out any second, but at the same time you can tell the car is a beast. He has to put 500 miles on the engine before he can really push it, so we decided to cruise around last night to start on those miles. As we are cruising up highway 6 a guy pulls up next to us (with wife and kids) and yells "Can I stick my dick in your car?"

We lost it. I was laughing to tears! You know the whole time the guy was telling his wife "That car is so hot! Listen to it. If you could fuck a car, that's the one I'd wanna fuck! That car is just hot. I can't contain myself. I have to say something..."

Okay, sorry for the language there but that's the life I was thrown into. I didn't ask to have someone tell me they want to sexually assault my friends car. It just happened.

So on a lighter note. (Not much lighter mind you.) There is a website I'm addicted to that is basically people posting things and other people commenting on them. Pictures, news articles, whatever. I won't mention the name because if you don't go to the site it's probably a good thing.

Yesterday I was scrolling through and someone posted a picture of their apartment stating they walked in during a break-in. Apparently he opened the garage and the robbers bolted out the back door. So I'm reading through the comments and run across this one. Once again I laughed to tears.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Open mouth (reply to email) insert foot (show ass).

Last Monday we hired a new Engineer at work. This is the neediest person I have ever met. I swear I spent 20+ hours last week just helping him with basic Windows operations. Let me repeat, BASIC WINDOWS OPERATIONS. I mean, stuff that was an option back with Windows 95. And common stuff, not brain surgery.

The first time he called me was because his screen was too dim and hard for him to see. So I went all the way up front to show him how to turn up his brightness. Let me repeat that. I went all the way up front to show the new COMPUTER ENGINEER how to turn up his screen brightness.

Along with annoying the hell out of me, he was also annoying the Admin Assistants. Who are no longer in our group I might add. So they are essentially doing us a favor. Rule #1: If someone is doing you a favor, leave them alone and let them do the favor. Going back and bugging them with other shit makes them not too happy about doing you said favor. And I promise it doesn't speed them up any.

One of the tasks I was given by my boss was to order some stuff for him. I told him to figure out what he needed, shoot me an email, and I'll get it ordered. The next day he calls me and says "I have the stuff I want to order, can you come down here?". Sure, no problem. So when I get there I realize, he does not have the stuff picked out, he is on the site that lists stuff he is interested in. So I sit there as he goes through the list checking off the stuff he wants to order. So now I'm sitting around watching this asshole shop. Which is fine, I mean, I really didn't have anything better to do, other than all the work I had piling up because I'm wasting my time trying to take care of this annoying jerk.

So after he picks and chooses a bunch of crap, I copy down the information for the items and tell him I'll get them ordered. Now I get to research part numbers. So I've been working on that, and working with the Admin Assistant. She tells me to send her the part numbers and she'll take care of it. A few days later he tells me he's going to Asia next week and needs the laptop. The rest of the stuff can wait but he must have the laptop for his trip. (So why exactly did I set up a system for him to use until it arrives? Or better yet, why can't he take that one to Asia?) Anyway, if I had known the computer took priority he would have already had it.

So I'm emailing back and forth with the AA and he calls again. Now he can't remotely connect to the network. So I start working on his new issue. As I'm bitching about him via email to the AA I am also working on his system. (1 of the 2 loaners I have already set up for him.) All of a sudden I need his employee number to continue setting him up. We'll I ain't gonna call him, especially since he probably doesn't know it or even have it written down, and would probably have a laundry list of other stuff he needs now.

It was at this point that I got an idea. I'll put him in the CC section of the email, then look at the properties of his email address and see if it lists his employee number. Nope. Sure didn't. Dammit! Oh well, I'll have to look somewhere else. Well, let me go ahead and hit send on the email to the AA and continue this search for the elusive employee number.

So did you catch that? Did you see what just happened there? Yep, I hit send on the email bitching about how he's aggravating the shit out of me, with him in the CC section. So yes, I essentially copied him on the email and let him know that he was driving me nuts.

The good side? It needed to be said and he needed to know. The bad, as whiny and needy as he is, I have no doubt he ran to my boss to tell him I don't like him and I'm not a very nice person. All I have to say is, I stand by it.

Tune in next time for the wonderful world of seat covers.