N'awlins at heart

Thursday, May 28, 2009

I was taught no lesson.

So I was able to enjoy some quiet time in court today. H2, all I can say is, please have pity on a few of the people you pull over. Or not. Screw em! They ain't me.

So I was awarded the joy of getting up at the butt crack of dawn, for my next ticket. Today seemed like any other day. I assumed I'd be arriving for my pre trial hearing, or the arraignment. Whatever. 30 minutes tops. In and out. (That's what she said.) Not so much. Apparently I was not invited to these events. This was the real deal. I wish I would have shaved.

Oh the joy of a Houston courthouse. So as I relax in a standing position (Officer Friendly kept us in line) I could overhear the conversation of a couple nearby. Apparently one of the lawyers was not to their liking. Every time she opened her mouth I had to hear his. "Oh yeah, there she goes again jabbing her jaws". For an hour and a half okay? It got to the point where I didn't want to see her come around because I didn't want to hear his mouth. "Every person who comes out, she has to jabber her jaws to." Um, she's a freakin lawyer dude, that's what she does. While standing around for all this nonsense the guy next to me had to be really nervous. During his swaying back and forth he was constantly bumping into me. I "blew up" and took up as much space as possible without being obvios but it did not phase him. "Dude, it's traffic court. You're not being charged with Grand Larcony. Chill."

So while I'm standing there, a seat comes open, next to the jackass. I get front row seats to this guys commentary. Then, finally, his wife's turn arrives. I guess the other lawyer has also listened to his crap because she brings her client outside to speak with her. Maybe it was the "They wrote on the ticket traffic was light." Followed by his "Screw that. Tell her there was no traffic. Feed her as much bullshit as you need to." He had tons of info to share with her. Okay dude, this is your lawyer. Don't start lying until the Judge shows up.

After what seemed to be an eternity (it was at least 2-3 hours) I get to meet with my counsel. She asks what happened and I told her "They pulled me over for doing 80 in a 65." She tells me "Well yeah, but what happened? How fast were you actually going?" "Um, about 75 - 80." Her response "So you really just want this off your record?"

Back to my seat. I returned to where I was, still listening to the pissed guy who appeared to be there to "support" his lovely wife. His lovely wife who sat there doing crossword puzzles. I had to listen to this jackass for 2 hours while his wife tuned him out and did crossword puzzles. I wanted to rip his throat out.

Flashback: Last ticket was going twice as fast over and they got me for not using blinkers. Two court visits lasting about 45 minutes together. This time, half as fast over and lots of waiting. But after 4 more months of waiting I am making out $5 cheaper this time.

So back to my attorney. She sat there going through the list with the other attorneys. The way it seems to work here is, if the cop doesn't show up on trial day, you automatically win the case. My attorney? She did not have 1 officer skip today's date. She had 30+ clients where the rest had 5, tops. They literally gave her a whole box. They came out with 4 boxes, 1 was hers. And guess what. Every officer showed up. She did not get to dismiss any to begin with. (Hint hint.)

While I sat and waited I tuned into a conversation going on behind me. A lady was telling the guy next to her how she doesn't care if she gets the points, she thinks her ticket is bullshit, and she wants a jury of her peers to decide it. She had pictures and everything. I think the best part was when she was finally called up (second to last, long after she began her tirade) and she commenced to telling her attorney "I don't care if you represent me or not. I have pictures and I want to fight this. I don't care if I get points on my license or not." When her attorney replied "Hey, you paid your $35. I am hired to represent your case. This ain't my first rodeo, I've been doing this for two years." I almost peed myself. The sad part is, while I was standing in line to pay my $5 less than last time in fines, she came out saying her case was dropped.

Flash forward to the conversation between W1 and I tonight. "That lady had me so hyped I wanted to have a jury trial just on principal." The response I received "Her case was based on changing speed limits in construction areas. No signs, she had pictures..." Your case in based on "Come on... 80 in a 65? Come on..." So yeah, I guess she stood a better chance.

Okay, and the outfits were crazy. You're gong to court people, not Wal Mart! The sweat pants. I have to laugh. You know how they have the 2 holes where the strings come out? Yeah, only one string coming out. Where is the other one? Buried somewhere in the waistband. You're in court people! I mean really, come on. And the fact that she borrowed her Grade School sister's pink tee shirt didn't help. We also had designer tee shirt guy, my own landscaping company tee shirt guy, etc... Interesting group. But the outcome was still the same. This is something I may need to consider next time. Why get dressed up for all this nonsense, when I can represent my favorite local boy band?

Bottom line, my 1 hour late arrival to work changed to a 3:00 PM visit to make sure everything was cool. I had to pay a fine I was not expecting, and a few months from now I have to send them $60 more, or sit in the 2 hour line again to pay it in person. I've had better days. Today is one of those days when I remember why we use to smoke. And at the same time, quitting is why we can afford the fines.

Sometimes I really miss NOLA.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Now I have your football. What did you learn?

I was riding in to work the other morning and I passed a dodge ram that caught my eye. Dark tinted windows and a flat black paint job. When I got closer I realized the paint job looked like those spray in bed liners. That black, bumpy, scratchy texture. But it was the whole truck. It looked mean as hell. I want that!

Work was a little insane last week. Take two days off and spend the whole next week catching up. Then as a bonus, we got a few different samples of the new stuff coming in this season. So that added to my workload. But the way things are around there I'd much rather be over worked than looking for something to do.

Since it is Memorial Day weekend I took some initiative and cut the guys in our lab loose a few hours early. Talk about a wild abuse of power. I really just wanted to leave early myself, but would have felt guilty taking off and leaving them all there.

We had our annual kind of work but not really BBQ today. And by that I mean, it's a BBQ that Coworker-R has been having with his old group every year. It consists of about 8 - 10 people that now work in various places, and they get together for a non work sponsored event. I was invited into this elite group a few years back on account of how cool I am, and we have been hanging with them ever since. It wasn't bad. We arrived a little late, as did our group. They were unable to secure our usual table, and we ended up with an uncovered picnic table. After a few hours a group left and we were able to take their covered area. And none too soon. Maybe 45 minutes later the sky opened up. And in the middle of the storm, a football fell from the sky. Yep, you heard that correctly, from the sky. There was nobody anywhere around and the football bounced on the ground next to us. (I'm actually guessing little Billy Gillette from the earlier party kicked it on the roof, or in a tree.) I went ahead and picked it up, crossed out the "GILLETTE" written across the side with a sharpie, and commenced to playing with my new football. Serves Billy (I'm just guessing the first name there) right for trying to be a show off. I can just see him now. "Hey everybody, watch how high I can kick the ball". How do you feel now Billy? You went home empty handed.

I know I am way behind, and I don't want to leave anyone out from last weekend. Congratulations, thanks, miss and love you all. We had such a great time and I can't wait to see everyone again.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

The mean muggin makes it!

This was emailed to me this morning.

Monday, May 04, 2009

Now you know it's funny.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Love that chicken...

Hey I-Buddy, sorry about the leg / ankle. That sucks!!!

I just saw a Popeye's commercial and it said "Louisiana Fast". Am I the only one amused by these 2 words together?

Friday was strange, it started out fun, I got to act up. It kinda sucked as the day moved on. But the weekend was nice. And I just found out there is a Beatles Rock Band coming out, so things can only get better.

I headed to work Friday morning, same as usual. I was happy that the weekend was almost in my grasp. I head out of the apartment complex and immediately hit bumper to bumper traffic. I remembered the day before I noticed construction so I immediately u-turned to take my original route. (After 3 plus years you learn a few ways to your job.) I end up in the turning lane for Briar Forest when I see someone out of the corner of my eye.

Houston is a little different than New Orleans in the sense that on every other corner there is someone looking for change of wanting to clean your windshield.

So I act like I don't see this guy, in typical Houston fashion. But he is persistent. He asks me if I'm heading to the belt. I tell him "No" (even though I was, I don't know you). He then asks "Are you heading up Briar Forest?". Naw, I'm in the turning lane to cut people off at the last second and go straight and ruin everyone's Friday! Okay actually my response was "Huh? That's your business because?". At this point he started to get shitty. (And that's makes me want to do you a favor even more.) He says "I was just gonna jump in the back of your truck for a ride, what's your problem?". I told him I did not feel comfortable with that, and that it was not safe. At this point traffic moved and so did I.

I made it almsot all of the way to work. I was on 249 when I was coming up on a work van. The kind that has a cage separating the back from the 2 front seats. The van was doing about 55, me, 70. As I was pulling up on the van I saw a guy in the back staring at me. As I got closer, I realized he was inded staring at me. WTF dude? Quit staring at me! So as i got close to the van I made a silly face and shot him the bird. Yeah, that's right! Quit staring at me, you!

Once I got to work things looked like they were going well. Some systems I was having problems with worked, and it was Friday. That was until about 9:30 am when my big boss informed me they were letting one of our tech's go. Not my choice out of the three. Actually, my last choice out of the three. But they don't consult me on these decisions, so whatever. But they didn't have to inform me two hours before it happened. So I had to look him in the face two hours before he was unexpededly fired. Not a good feeling I tell you.

We also went to Wally World yesterday and I got my badass cart again. This time, I took a picture. See, I don't care, at Walmart your cart needs to be something badass! You can't just roll up in that joint average, represent people! Come on!