Your horoscope *

* "While you've always believed in love at first sight, ten years of marriage will soon test your faith in love at repeated sight."

Ok, that was Monday's horoscope on my "The Onion" calender. W1's boss was frustrated because he couldn't tell which stories were real and which were fake (I'm pretty sure they're all fake) so he gave it to her to give to me.

Sorry for the neglect, I just didn't want to bore you complaining about my job. It's hard. It's a lot of new stuff that I have never done before, but at the same time it's very challenging. I do enjoy that part. I guess it comes with the territory.

We had a great visit to NOLA last weekend. We caught some parades, got to visit H2 at work, and got to visit with a few friends. And we had a place to ourselves courtesy of Kenellie. Thanks so much you guys. Molly was precious as usual. Even when she tried to throw leaves on me and hit me in the nuts. They are fine in case you're wondering. My nuts can take a licking. (Sorry Chia but it's funny to me every time I say it.)

Speaking of the kids they were all precious. I love spending time with them. P+J have some great kids.

Once again I'll continue with the subject of kids. What is up with the reality show about kids beauty pagent? Talk about child abuse. They make these kids up, whiten their teeth, and parade their "beauty" on stage. Okay, when they have no enamel by the time they hit 20, and their teeth are rotting out, who are they gonna blame? And who are the judges? Someone needs to look in the parking lot for the white van with no windows and "free candy" painted on the side. Why isn't Chris Hanson interviewing those guys? I'm sorry, it just don't seem right to me.

Lastly, dentists are evil. It's no wonder I haven't gone in a while. I went about 2 weeks ago and one of the first things they asked was if I had hot and cold sensitivity on any of my teeth. I answered "no". They drilled and refilled a few fillings and solved that problem. 2 of the teeth they redid now have major hot and cold sensitivity. Thanks guys, much appreciated.

Does this karma make my butt look big?

We all know how I feel about the traffic here. One of my (many) gripes is a certain turn I take going from 249 to the belt. I blogged about it previously on more than one occasion. It is a turn into a full lane, but these idiots constantly stop. It drives me crazy, and apparently others. It causes major backup, and if you're trying to get to the left lane and can't merge in 3/4 of a mile you don't need to be driving. It is so bad, someone spent the money at one of those "signs are us" places and put up signs saying "Protected Lane, do not stop". This does not matter as people still stop there.

So as I took the off ramp I saw the line of cars backed up. Yes, once again, some idiot stopped and is holding up traffic. This time I am too far back to even honk the horn. I was agitated to say the least. Once the light changed (so these idiots can cut across the lanes to get to the left) cars started moving again. About half way through the turn I noticed the shattered glass covering the road. Shortly afterward, what I saw put a smile on my face. From what I can tell, mid sized SUV stopped in the middle of the turn, full sized Chevy did not. He rocked the back of the car, shattered the back window, and pushed the spare tire into the back seat. And all I could think was "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!" Is it wrong that it made me happy? I guess the real question is, do I care that it's wrong? The answer there is "No." And in case you didn't hear it let me tell you again in Spanish, "No."

Work has gotten better. It is still busy, and from the look of it, it always will be. But the days fly by and I appreciate that. I have noticed I am figuring out the job more, but every situation is different. Oh well, it is what it is. And at least the weeks seem a lot shorter.

I cannot wait for Mardi Gras. It is going to be so much fun to see everyone. And as an added bonus, Russell has volunteered to drive. So for once W1 and I both get to relax on the drive there. And speaking of driving I'm getting my catalytic converter replaced Saturday. Right now it sounds like I'm dragging cans behind me. I was actually tempted to write "Just Married" on my back window.

Okay, that's all I have for now...

"If I only could I'd set the world on fire"*

How have things been you ask? Hectic. Insanely hectic!

Once again I have been ticketed. Once again on the beltway. Apparently the $7.50 I pay every day to go to work isn't enough. This time it was 80 in a 65 and no insurance. The kicker is I have insurance, and I had the card on me. It was 9 in the PM and there was little traffic. I saw a car coming up on me pretty fast so I turned on my blinker (see I can learn) to get out of the way. Little did I know it was a police car who immediately lit me up. I had 2 expired insurance cards, and the current one looked different. So as I dug through my wallet in the dark I was looking for a paper, not a card. It wasn't until I got home that I realized the error. But by then it was too late. "It was better to just smile and call the lawyer."**

Coworker S left over the holidays to take a different job. In the interim I was covering his duties. Shortly afterward I was informed the position was open, and was a permanent full time position. (Vacation, Sick time, 401K, etc...) I applied for the position and got the job. So I am no longer a contractor. For the first time in my life I am Corporate America guy. One thing that I find odd and disturbing is the way I'm treated. I got my "white badge" last Monday and I have noticed more people saying hello and / or returning my hello in the hallways. It's kind of messed up if you ask me.

So I went "perm" Monday and around lunchtime Tuesday everything went down hill. My email and network login were deactivated. The reason for this was my contract status had been terminated. What this meant was all the things I spent the last 3 weeks setting up to do my job, using my old account information were gone. They gave me a new email address and network login which weren't associated with the sites I had to go to in order to get my job done.

Thursday morning as I was getting ready for work I told W1 heads were gonna roll today. I was sick of being unable to do my job, and I was stressing as I watched my workload continue to build up. I was prepared to head into work and use whatever pull I needed to, and chew whoevers ass I needed to in order to get everything straight. (I was also tired of the "Well, this should have been a seemless change over. You shouldn't have even noticed anything.".) I strolled into work only to find my new email address and network login had been deactivated. WHAT THE FUCK?

Around 4:30 Thursday the original email and login was reactivated. So I was able to do part of my job and start catching up on the 3 days worth of work that had backed up. Friday I went to do the hardest (or at least most confusing) part of my job and found out the website I have to go to locked me out due to account changes. So I'll be on the phone bright and early tomorrow morning.

One cool thing is I now have an office. My boss doesn't have an office, nor does his boss, but I have an office. Sweet. There was a guest chair in there but I put it in the lab. Whenever people come in to go over something that may take a while, I roll a chair in there. Then they laugh when I roll it back out after the meeting or whatever. My response. "I don't want people coming in here getting comfortable. I don't have time to chit chat and / or have company."

I have my turtle (courtesy of H2GF) and my Boba Fett (courtesy of Kenellie) sitting on my desk. I took a picture but it is on my computer at work. If I find the time I will add it later.

I have not played my Star Wars game this weekend. It pissed me off. The entire time I have been flirting with one of the characters and they finally kissed. Shortly afterward they came up with some crap about her endangering the mission and she had to stay on the ship while I checked out the planet. When we left the planet we were attacked and she was once again locked in a room and the game made me leave. During this time I also discovered that I was actually the head evil guy that they've been talking about through the whole game. So to recap, once again my girlfriend is gone and I find out I'm a dick. So pissed, I put down the controller for a while.

Also, we got a new dryer. On MLK day our dryer quit working. So Friday night I stayed up until 12:30 in the morning researcing dryers and reading customer reviews. I narrowed it down to 5 dryers from 3 different stores. By the time we hit the 3rd store we got an offer I couldn't refuse. I was all set to buy one I had picked out but they offered me a better one that had a small dent in the front for the price I was going to pay for the cheaper one. The one I was looking at was 5.8 cubic feet, the new one is 7 cubic feet. I don't think 3 loads of laundry would fill this thing. It's nice. Has a buzzer, inside light, the works. I have not gone back to read the reviews on it because I don't want to stress if the reviews are bad. As of right now I am very happy with our purchase, and I want to keep it that way.

Okay, maybe it's time I got over my grudge and jump back into my game.

* Insane Clown Posse - Fuck the world.
** Karen Hill - Goodfellas