Diarrhea of the mouth, or fingers I should say.

Co-worker rants, because I know they're your favorite and mine.

Oh where to begin? Last week was pretty hectic. When I left off we got new phones. Awesome! They work very well, even (get this) inside the apartment. They sound better inside than the Vonage phone. When I get to work, the particular place I park doesn't get a signal, but 2 feet from the truck, all is good. Weird. I also messed up transferring the phone numbers. When I looked last night, it seems I missed a few, even though I remember typing them in. Once again, weird. Oh well, life goes on.

Last week had it's ups and downs. It seems that I already knew the lady on the bright side of the lab. I mean, I've known her ever since I started working in this lab, but apparently I already knew her and didn't know I knew her. Ya know? To protect the innocent, I will call her Jeannie. That is not her name, but she is definitely a reincarnation. Same age, height, build as my past arch nemesis. With the same issues. I don't understand why companies hire these people who can't do their jobs.

Let me give you a little background. This lady is 49 (as she tells me repeatedly) 105 lbs (once again I have been informed of this repeatedly) and she has to be about 4'9". She is the hardware person. Why would any company hire a "hardware person" who is too tiny to lift the hardware? I mean, come on. Now, much like the Jeannie of old, she is apparently under the impression that she is my boss. Also, she has the same "smile in your face, stab you in the back" mentality. Since we moved over here, she has decided we should "help" (and by help I mean do it all) move a bunch of old junk hardware that has been in the lab for years. Luckily my current boss has a spine. When she asks me to do things, I tell her to clear it with my boss as we are very busy (hence hiring 2 more testers). I need one of those signs that say "Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine".

Now, J2 is known for running her mouth. NON STOP! She comes in at 7:00 AM and immediately gets on the phone with her mother for 2 hours. EVERY MORNING. On the few occasions (Mondays) that she is not immediately on the phone, she drops off her stuff, then heads to the local grocery store. She commences to make groceries for this weeks lunches etc... (This is all on the clock mind you.) Then, around 10:30 she goes on her 5 mile walk (no exaggeration) around the campus with friends. EVERY DAY! Once again, on the clock. Upon returning, she eats lunch (which she purchased earlier) then goes off to BS with people. Around 3:00 (1 hour before she gets off of work) she stresses, running around bitching about how she is so damned busy. I imagine so if you are only gonna put in 1 hour of work a day. She also has no understanding of personal space, inside voice, or just manners in general. No home training. It has reached the point where I put on my headphones at work. I don't listen to music, I just wear them. That way when she calls my name repeatedly and I ignore her, she assumes I can't hear. I even go as far as to "jump back" when she gets right up beside me, as if I didn't realize she was there.

The other day I came in later than usual. I called "the people who matter" to let them know I would be late. (She was not on that list.) I came in and as soon as I set foot in the door I got her "Oh, you finally decided to come in." About 45 minutes later I headed down for my morning smoke. She saw me heading out and I got the "You just got here and you're already taking a break?" Once again, her comment was ignored. I brought in some left over BBQ for lunch so maybe 1/2 hour later I walked to my truck to get change for a soda. Guess who I ran into in the hall as she was doing her 5 mile walk. That's right, J2. This time I guess she wanted to act big to her friends and I got the "Damn, you're going on another break". That was the line. The response she recieved was "Nope, going to get soda money out of my truck, not that it's any of YOUR business".

I thought that would do it. I was wrong. When she returned from her walk she walked right up to my desk (where I was eating) and said "Wow, now you're eating lunch?" WTF? I mean for real. Now she is literally in my face looking at my food. Then she says (and here's where home training comes in) "Oh my God those mushrooms look so good. I have to try one." Before I can even stick one with the fork to give to her, she reaches into my dish with her grubby hands and grabs one. It was disgusting. And the icing, apparently after I ate and went to smoke (as smokers tend to do) she walked up to my desk and looked at coworker D as if asking "He's gone again?" He ignored her as he hates her more than I do. Now mind you, the lady who spends half the day walking, shopping, talking on the phone, or just out in the hall BSing but is worried about what I am doing. At the end of the day (while I was working) she came and sat/leaned on my desk right in front of the keyboard and mouse of the test computer I was working with. And she spent 1/2 hour complaining about how busy she is. I was informed, by her, there were originally 4 hardware people and all the work has dwindled to her since she is the last one left. I wish I had that job, work 1 hour a day and have 3 other people originally helping you. That had to be the best.

So as time has gone by it's gotten better. I think she has taken the hint to mind her business and leave me alone. Plus every request she has I tell her to clear it with my boss. And trust me, if he is okay with it he will come ask me to do it.