You must be French because you're a peein'.

I had to be 10 or 11 years old. We lived in Charleston and it was our 2nd house on the Naval Base. There was a playground right behind our house. Pretty convenient when you're a kid. Swings, slide, merry go round, you name it. It had everything. Except a bathroom.

Now yeah, my house was right there, but come on. If I go inside I might have to do some chores, or stay inside because dinner is almost ready. Screw that. I'm out playing. The point is, I didn't want to go in the house.

On the other end of the park there was a large electrical box, or as we called it, "The Green Box". Perfect. My target was scoped out. (Ladies, that's what guys do. We pee on stuff.) So I moved to the back side opposite of our house. That way I was safe from view.

Perfect time for mom to come check on me. I think the conversation went something like this.

"Michael, what are you doing over there?"

"Nothing."

"Well then come over here."

"Okay, one second."

"Are you peeing?"

"No." (Because I had finally finished. So technically not a lie.)

*Mom walked around and saw the "design" I made peeing on the side of the Green Box. And I was sent to my room.

I'm pretty sure it was more for the lying than the peeing, if I had to guess. But the point was to not go in the house. Guess I missed the mark on that one. Well, I guess they can't all be winners. :)