N'awlins at heart

Parental Advisory. Mom, don't read. (AL) May contain situations...

2011-09-24T12:36:00.004-05:00

So my friend has a 1971 Mustang. It's pretty sweet. He tore apart the engine almost a year ago to rebuild it. There were issues with the engine block, etc... So he finally brought it to a local place that works on race cars. Like the owner has 2 daughters who stock car race.

Long story short, the guy rebuilt it with a custom engine. Custom like, he manufactured his own cam shaft among other things.

So he finally got his car back last night. And it sounds mean. (Note: The video is actually before the custom rebuild, it actually idles even slower than that.) The lope makes it sound like it's about to stall out any second, but at the same time you can tell the car is a beast. He has to put 500 miles on the engine before he can really push it, so we decided to cruise around last night to start on those miles. As we are cruising up highway 6 a guy pulls up next to us (with wife and kids) and yells "Can I stick my dick in your car?"

We lost it. I was laughing to tears! You know the whole time the guy was telling his wife "That car is so hot! Listen to it. If you could fuck a car, that's the one I'd wanna fuck! That car is just hot. I can't contain myself. I have to say something..."

Okay, sorry for the language there but that's the life I was thrown into. I didn't ask to have someone tell me they want to sexually assault my friends car. It just happened.

So on a lighter note. (Not much lighter mind you.) There is a website I'm addicted to that is basically people posting things and other people commenting on them. Pictures, news articles, whatever. I won't mention the name because if you don't go to the site it's probably a good thing.

Yesterday I was scrolling through and someone posted a picture of their apartment stating they walked in during a break-in. Apparently he opened the garage and the robbers bolted out the back door. So I'm reading through the comments and run across this one. Once again I laughed to tears.

Open mouth (reply to email) insert foot (show ass).

2011-09-22T19:39:00.004-05:00

Last Monday we hired a new Engineer at work. This is the neediest person I have ever met. I swear I spent 20+ hours last week just helping him with basic Windows operations. Let me repeat, BASIC WINDOWS OPERATIONS. I mean, stuff that was an option back with Windows 95. And common stuff, not brain surgery.

The first time he called me was because his screen was too dim and hard for him to see. So I went all the way up front to show him how to turn up his brightness. Let me repeat that. I went all the way up front to show the new COMPUTER ENGINEER how to turn up his screen brightness.

Along with annoying the hell out of me, he was also annoying the Admin Assistants. Who are no longer in our group I might add. So they are essentially doing us a favor. Rule #1: If someone is doing you a favor, leave them alone and let them do the favor. Going back and bugging them with other shit makes them not too happy about doing you said favor. And I promise it doesn't speed them up any.

One of the tasks I was given by my boss was to order some stuff for him. I told him to figure out what he needed, shoot me an email, and I'll get it ordered. The next day he calls me and says "I have the stuff I want to order, can you come down here?". Sure, no problem. So when I get there I realize, he does not have the stuff picked out, he is on the site that lists stuff he is interested in. So I sit there as he goes through the list checking off the stuff he wants to order. So now I'm sitting around watching this asshole shop. Which is fine, I mean, I really didn't have anything better to do, other than all the work I had piling up because I'm wasting my time trying to take care of this annoying jerk.

So after he picks and chooses a bunch of crap, I copy down the information for the items and tell him I'll get them ordered. Now I get to research part numbers. So I've been working on that, and working with the Admin Assistant. She tells me to send her the part numbers and she'll take care of it. A few days later he tells me he's going to Asia next week and needs the laptop. The rest of the stuff can wait but he must have the laptop for his trip. (So why exactly did I set up a system for him to use until it arrives? Or better yet, why can't he take that one to Asia?) Anyway, if I had known the computer took priority he would have already had it.

So I'm emailing back and forth with the AA and he calls again. Now he can't remotely connect to the network. So I start working on his new issue. As I'm bitching about him via email to the AA I am also working on his system. (1 of the 2 loaners I have already set up for him.) All of a sudden I need his employee number to continue setting him up. We'll I ain't gonna call him, especially since he probably doesn't know it or even have it written down, and would probably have a laundry list of other stuff he needs now.

It was at this point that I got an idea. I'll put him in the CC section of the email, then look at the properties of his email address and see if it lists his employee number. Nope. Sure didn't. Dammit! Oh well, I'll have to look somewhere else. Well, let me go ahead and hit send on the email to the AA and continue this search for the elusive employee number.

So did you catch that? Did you see what just happened there? Yep, I hit send on the email bitching about how he's aggravating the shit out of me, with him in the CC section. So yes, I essentially copied him on the email and let him know that he was driving me nuts.

The good side? It needed to be said and he needed to know. The bad, as whiny and needy as he is, I have no doubt he ran to my boss to tell him I don't like him and I'm not a very nice person. All I have to say is, I stand by it.

Tune in next time for the wonderful world of seat covers.

Hannah's new setup?

2011-08-24T21:52:00.003-05:00

When we last visited, we were discussing Hannah's 15" hub caps. This guy has 15" subs. Six of them. Yes, six! When I saw the roof I lost it.

Whoever smelt it, dealt it.

2011-08-17T21:27:00.002-05:00

So I did some more work on the xB (bB). We actually found 15" hub caps in black. I've been looking for years. I also cleaned up the back a bit and I have to say I'm impressed. I was originally going to replace the logos with the bB and Toyota logos but once we looked at it clean we decided it looks better that way. To the point that I'm considering debadging the Maggie next.

It was a lot of work and I've got the blisters to prove it. We also added a cabin air filter (there was a tray to put the filter but apparently they wanted to save $10 on the cars sold in the US). I discovered this reading the forums. But they are going to be the death of me. I find way too many things I wanna do to our vehicles.

One of the things I wanna do, but she will never let me, is put her ride on bags. I'm sorry, but it would be freakin sweet! I mean seriously, how much fun would this be?

Work is work. There was a huge reorg and everyone is on edge, but in the midst of it all my bosses thought I was doing a good enough job to merit getting an award. So I guess I really can't complain. Tooted my own horn there. Just wanted to remind you how awesome I am.

We do have some pretty cool stuff coming out next year though. I've had a sneak peek at the 2012 systems and I can't complain. That's all you get, a teaser. :)

So I was playing my game on the PS3. I'm not good at it, mind you, but I have fun playing all the same. We were on a map where the object is to steal the enemy data. And I was, as usual, not doing so well. So a guy jumps in the room and comments "0 and 13? We should kick that guy.". (Yeah, that would be 0 kills and 13 deaths.) About that same time I thought to myself "I don't think I've killed anyone." so I pulled up the stats. Yeah, 0 and 13, that would be me. About a minute later a message popped on the screen informing me someone had voted to kick me off the team. Now all he needed was 7 more votes (out of the 16 people on our team). In the end I only had 1 vote to kick me but it made me think, what a dick!

Okay, to finish my random ramblings let me finish with this; I was not the one who farted in Aunt Pats car.

Commence transformation. (More car data.)

2011-07-26T15:54:00.000-05:00

From 2000 - 2005 the Toyota bB was sold in Japan. Clicking on the link you may notice the car looks very familiar. That's because from 2004 - 2006 it was sold under the name Scion xB. Due to the fact that it is essentially the same car (except for the steering wheel being on the right side) most of the parts are interchangeable.

Some of the people on the forum I frequent (way too frequently) do their best to convert their xB's into bB's by changing out the logo's, lights, and body kits. Not surprisingly, people in Japan also try to turn theirs into xB's. I guess the grass really is always greener.

That being said, my latest modification was to swap out the Scion radiator emblem for the Toyota bB emblem. Just something else to change it up. I think it looks better.

More blog posts to come, I just bought Black Lug Nuts for my car. :)

Tupac lives.

2011-07-12T09:49:00.003-05:00

One of my favorite Dave Chapelle skits ever. It probably won't be on long though. Enjoy. :)

Shut up about your car already...

2011-07-05T13:51:00.000-05:00

So I'm sitting at Jack in the Box drive through this morning getting some tacos and a pickup truck pulls up next to me and rolls his window down.

"What year is your car?"

"2007"

"Man, it is gorgeous. Would you consider selling it?"

"No way, just got it in January."

"Wow, well I have to tell you, you've got a beautiful car."

"Thanks."

I love the fact that my car looks good enough to have someone go out of their way to come check it out. And offer to buy it. As if I didn't love my car enough, that just put a huge smile on my face.

In keeping with my current theme.

2011-04-23T09:46:00.006-05:00

When Hannah first got her car one of the options was an arm rest. From what I've read most of them don't have one at all, but hers in the only xB I've ever been in.

It was nice to have a little arm rest there for those long drives and it even had a cup holder on the back. But there wasn't much to it. And over time the screw holding it in the back kept coming loose so it wasn't all that stable.

When I was searching online for my car parts I remembered someone mentioning an aftermarket arm rest made for her car so I decided to look into it. Originally around $140 I found it was down to $80. And not a bad item. It was a little wider than the one from Scion and it had storage area. Along with the storage area it came with a 32 disc CD wallet that fit right inside of it.

All in all not a bad deal. She lost the back seat cup holder but that just equals "Quit bringing drinks in my car!". Not to mention there is rarely anyone sitting in the back. We reserve that seat for the sex.

Slowly becoming my "Check out our rides" blog.

2011-04-18T19:53:00.006-05:00

Yes, I know. I never blog and when I do it's about the cars. And once again, here ya go.

When I first got my car I was having stereo issues. So I joined a Magnum forum. They definitely had some useful information, but they were slow to answer some of my questions. That's when I realized I had joined a forum for customizing your car. And these guys go nuts. They change out the front end for the one on the Charger, or the Chrysler 300. (Apparently this requires changing out your hood, grill, and welding. More work than I plan to do, although they look pretty sweet.)

While going through pages and pages of posts I found something out. Looks like the early LX models came with a PCM cover. Then one day they decided to stop installing it. My only guess is that they saved $4 per car leaving this part out. It doesn't look like it does anything but clean up the look of the engine. I would say it probably cost them around $4 because I bought it for $12 from a dealership.

Check out the before and after pictures because I think it was well worth the $12 even with another $11 in shipping.

Without PCM Cover (Above)

With PCM Cover (Above)

And just in case you were wondering, this is what my bad ass HEMI's "guts" look like.

My kind of kid.

2011-04-13T16:27:00.002-05:00

I love the way she takes a knee.

Flossin'

2011-03-19T20:21:00.005-05:00

As you know I got a new ride. So what's next? Mods. Changing out tail lights for LED versions. Just making it different and original. Oh wait. Did I say my ride? Sorry. What I meant was Hannah's ride.

When Patti came to visit for her book signing I followed them to Jack in the Box. I noticed Hannah's center brake light, 3rd brake light, novelty brake light, or whatever they call it was burnt out. I remembered a chat I had with Dean where he mentioned they can't ticket you for it, but they can pull you over "as a courtesy" to let you know it's out. In my life I have discovered the less I've gotten pulled over, the better.

So as soon as I got home I went online searching for the bulb size. And after checking a few places I discovered it's pretty hard to find out that bulb size. I can find almost anything on the internet, but the bulb size for a stock brake light? No such luck.

After a while I ran across something way better than the bulb size. (I never did find it.) A website had an LED strip that fit right where the stock one went. She already has the LED brake lights so I thought it would be perfect. And guess what? It was.

Literally took 10 minutes to install. That includes installing it upside down originally.

Yes, I know the car is dirty.

Different outlook.

2011-03-11T09:40:00.002-06:00

Her: I can't believe I'm ironing the toughest shirt ever this morning.

Me: I don't think these jeans in the hamper are that dirty.

And that's why we do so well together.

Hey, look at me!

2011-03-08T19:47:00.004-06:00

As I was leaving for the day I made the statement to everyone, "See you tomorrow. I'll be in late because I have physical therapy." To which the girl in the lab replies "Have a good session. Enjoy your massage." It was about this time I realized she has no idea what goes on in physical therapy. For those of you who haven't been, you don't get a massage and you definitely don't feel like you just got one when you leave.

Speaking of therapy, my therapist made a comment that bothered me last time I went. I walked to the back (no crutches, no cane, just me) and she looks at me and says "You're limping more than you should be." Really? Me? You do realize I snapped my femur in half, right? Oh, you do? Okay, I just wanted to make sure we're on the same page. By the way, isn't it your job to fix that? I'm just saying, tell me what I'm doing wrong so I can work on it.

And guess what. I was able to take a shower standing up this morning. Have some of that!

They had me working on something called a core board. Basically it's an oval shaped board, that rocks all around. So I have my bad leg up front and the good leg in the back, and I rock forward and backward for 3 minutes. Then I switch leg positions for 3 more minutes. Only last time it put me facing a guy in a wheelchair working on the weights you have to pull with your hands. He was having a lot of trouble and I don't know about his accident but I don't think he'll ever get out of the wheel chair. So here I am almost face to face with this guy rocking forward and backwards almost like I was rubbing it in. I could see him looking at me out of the corner of his eye. Talk about a guilt filled 6 minutes.

I hope everyone is having fun at Mardi Gras. It's been a long day of missing everyone and wishing we were there. I love all the pictures. Keep posting them. By next year I think we'll be ready to go!

We also had a great visit from Patti this weekend. I loved seeing you. Thanks for coming by. :) Love you!

"I was sittin' in the car while y'all were in the store."

2011-01-29T13:23:00.004-06:00

"And..."

"That was it. It was nice sitting in my car."

That was a conversation between Hannah and I this morning. I was talking about my new car. I picked it up last week and the thing is just wicked. It's the R/T so it has the 5.7L HEMI. Just sweet. I told Hannah if I'm getting the Magnum that I've wanted since they came out in 2005 it was all or nothing. Hence the HEMI. It also has heated leather seats and came with the Boston Acoustics stereo. The (6) speakers are already running off of an amp. But of course I want a little more bass so I picked this up.

I don't have all the stuff I need to hook that sub up in my car yet so I put it in Hannah's Scion to test it. That thing is obnoxious! I can't wait for our tax return because I think Hannah needs one in there permanently. It's like DJ's old stereo where you can feel the hair on top of your head vibrating. I think I smell a road trip in the near future. We've never been to Austin.

Ha Ha, just messing with you. DJ and Justin sound like they are interested in seeing the ride and doing me the favor of installing that sub so I may take them up on the offer. My only concern is if I'm ready for that 6 hour drive. But it'd be nice to let someone else mess with crawling around in there running wires and installing switches. And if I'm gonna take that drive I might as well do it in a 5.7L HEMI with heated leather seats. I'm just sayin'.

Speaking of my hip Physical Therapy is going as well as I can hope for. They have me use a cane while I am there but I am still on a crutch when I'm not there. I notice I'm a little wobbly on the cane. At first I thought it was because I couldn't steady it with my armpit like the crutch but I think it may be the weight of it. They had me on Bariatric crutches (the therapist kept saying it so I had to look it up) and they've gotta weigh about 20 pounds. A piece. Okay, a little exaggeration but them bad boys are heavy. "Same stuff they use in the space shuttle." Then they hand me this 5oz aluminum stick and expect me to walk with it.

But they have me stepping up and down, using a leg machine, walking in between parallel bars, marching in place, and a bunch of stretches. My favorite seems to be the exercise bike. It's a nice 8 minutes of zoning out and pedaling. And it seems to stretch the muscles pretty well.

Speaking of my car, I was doing my step up exercises at Physical Therapy and I guess I was smiling. One of the therapists asked why I was smiling and I told her "Because I can see my new car from here.". And we all had a good chuckle.

After I test drove the car I can tell I was way too excited thinking about it. When I was on the phone with the bank someone knocked on my office door. After I got off the phone I went to see who had knocked and forgot all about the crutch. Just got up and walked towards the door like Jesus had healed me. I say "towards the door" because it only took one step on the bad leg to realize I'm not quite ready to walk yet.

Frustrating or not I do see improvement. I can't say every day it feels better but when I look back at the week before I do notice the progress. Unfortunately I'm impatient. :)

I overanalyze.

2011-01-13T09:32:00.006-06:00

I've been seeing a commercial for U-Verse lately and I have a problem with it. It's this commercial here with the cartoon movie theater food in case you haven't seen it.

So basically the food follows a guy to his seat at the DMV so they can watch TV from his phone. No biggie. Although without headphones I'm sure this guy would eventually be told to turn it down or off. After a few seconds they follow a lady walking past them, to the bus stop so they can watch Daytime Drama on her laptop.

Here's where the problem comes in. If she was just at the DMV, why is she heading to the bus stop? Did she have a warrant or maybe a couple of attachments that would not allow her to renew her license? Or was she just getting her State ID renewed?

Here's an idea. How about spend less money on the gadgets and U-Verse subscriptions, and buy yourself a car.

Not trying to be a jerk but lets get some priorities in order and maybe we can drive our own selves to work. I'm just saying!

I just love the snapshots during the credits.

2011-01-06T21:20:00.002-06:00

***Let's get physical...

2011-01-04T19:40:00.003-06:00

(After putting some thought into it, I edited out the stuff leading to the accident. I didn't enjoy it while it was happening, so I can only assume you don't want to read about it.)

Time slowed down to a crawl and about half way through the roll I thought I was done. That's when I tried to get back up and realized I was still rolling. (I believe this is where the break occurred.) The original plan was to jump up and get on the bike and take off before the cops showed up with my ticket. That's all that was on my mind.

As I tried to get up I realized I must have popped my leg out of the socket. (Still thinking positive.) After the worst ambulance ride ever (I think the driver thought he was at "Camp Jeep") I arrived at the hospital. 7:00 PM on a Wednesday night. No food or drink for me, I may go in any minute for surgery. At about 4:30 AM they brought me from the ER to my room. I was going into surgery around 8:00 AM so no food or drink for me. Around 4:00 PM Thursday I went in for surgery. They put the mask over my nose and after a few seconds I looked up at the guy sitting next to me. He said "Oh, you're awake." and took me back to my room. Where did the time go? Why didn't they tell me to count down from 10 so they could laugh when I didn't make it to 9? Definitely not what I was expecting.

The scar is maybe 2 inches long but it looks gross. I don't really care for it. Physical Therapy is actually not bad. I've gone 3 times a week for about 3 weeks now. My home routine they gave me seems like a lot more stretching, whereas the actual therapy at the hospital seems to be more about working with resistance. They tell me what to do, but I still do a little extra. I have already made the decision that I want to walk normal again. And I think most of the exercises are for little old ladies with hip replacements. And I also realized if I can do more without it hurting, I might as well go for it.

I've had a different therapist each time I've gone in. Which seems to be good because they all seem to go about it a different way. I have the feeling the one last Friday thought I was cute because she kept trying to make sure I was comfortable. And when I would tell her I'm fine she'd still stuff pillows under my knees. I believe she said "If I can't make you more comfortable, I don't feel like I'm doing my job.". Either way I didn't feel I was "pushed" quite as hard as I have been in some sessions.

Monday morning was a different story. With family and the holidays, i didn't really get my home exercises done properly Saturday and Sunday. So of course Monday they decided it was time to use thicker tension straps, and to strap weights to my ankle. Needless to say, I felt it when I got home. But it was a good thing.

I toughed it out and went to work today. It really wasn't bad, but I had to fight the urge of feeling overwhelmed. I haven't been in the office in a month so a few things had gotten backed up. Everyone went out of their way to help me with anything they could. It was a nice feeling. I think I could have made it through the day, but after being off work for that long, all I wanted to do all afternoon was be home with Hannah. So I left an hour early. I figured if I was going to milk it, i might as well do it the first day. If I worked a full day all week, then left early on Friday, someone may catch on.

Quite a few people came by to visit, and most were pretty shocked that I was walking around already (although it was on crutches). I guess it's typical at any workplace. If you're not there to tell the story, by the time you arrive it's blown up. I believe by the time I got there I was hit head on by a train which jumped the track and slid us both off a cliff, landed on top of me, and exploded on impact. Wait, I think that's exactly what happened. My memory is kind of fuzzy.

Okay, it's not really fuzzy. I was totally geared up and don't have a scratch on me. That, and I didn't hit the ground until I was already in the dirt. The main thing I've taken away from this is not to break any more bones. It's embarrassing, takes twice as long to get anywhere on crutches, and every day you think about how you can't wait until you can walk again. But all in all I think I got off light. It could have been a lot worse. Sorry to scare you all.

And for the record, no matter how bummed out you may get, $300 worth of Fireworks will put a smile on your face.

***Olivia Newton John, but I was thinking more of the Revolting Cocks version which is pretty much NSFW. REVCO for the win!

They came back.

2010-12-12T00:56:00.000-06:00

The aliens came back for round two. I guess they weren't finished.

Lots of things have happened since we last spoke. I was able to get out of the work Christmas Party along with Hannah's. Who knew it would be this easy. And the bike didn't take much of a beating. I just wish my femur was made by Honda.

Recovery is going well. I noticed today it almost feels like I could walk on it. Don't worry, I know I can't and I'm definitely not going to try, but it feels a whole lot better than it did. For the record it was a bad miscalculation / decision on my part that caused the accident. I know what I did wrong, but it won't help for me to sit around and beat myself up so I'm not going to. The ambulance ride, I must say, was far from fun. I felt every bump.

In the emergency room I could hear the girl in the next room screaming. She kept saying "You're breaking my jaw!". I thought it was weird that someone with a broken jaw was so audible and easy to understand. I mean every word. There was no guessing what she was saying. I was wondering if they were wiring it shut or what.

I got 2 new xbox 360 games for my birthday which have drastically slowed down my "working from home". I'm getting a bit of time in but not as much any more. Friday was my birthday so I decided I wasn't going to check my work email at all the whole day. So of course I noticed this morning my manager emailed me Friday and said "Happy Birthday. I'd like to give you a call today if that is okay with you. Let me know what time would be good.". Ooops. My bad.

Mom is in town helping out and we've watched quite a bit of Animal Planet in HD and some Forensic Files. Not a bad visit and it's nice having her around helping me out. Thanks for giving her up for a while dad. :) She's been doing a lot around here including cooking. I think I've already gained 20 lbs. Good thing my crutches say "Max Weight Cap 650 Lbs" because I'm working my way up to it. (But I'm almost out of Vanilla Tootsie Rolls. Thanks Patti. *hugs*) Those crutches are heavy too. They must weigh 40 Lbs each. (Okay, a little exaggeration but those bad boys are heavy.)

I'd like to thank everyone for coming to visit and all the well wishes and prayers. I am definitely mending well. And I really don't believe the shot in the stomach every morning is for blood clots. I think it's a reminder to not screw up again!

Well it's late so i guess I'm off to bed. Have a good night everyone!

Aliens abducted me.

2010-11-26T19:43:00.004-06:00

That's right, aliens abducted me. They dropped me back off this morning. Sorry I didn't call anyone on Thanksgiving, but Who Dat!

We were invited to a party from the director of our group. On the invitation it states "Attire: Casual". Now maybe it's just paranoia, but I have the strange feeling his idea of casual attire is a lot different than mine. I think I'll go with Khakis and a polo.

Thanksgiving went well for us. We had a turkey, stuffing, yams, broccoli, bread, pie, etc... We kicked back and watched a pretty intense Saints game. And actually called it an early night.

I did notice yesterday morning I changed the channel 5 times and Hannah kept changing it back to "Deadly Women". So if I suddenly disappear you all know what happened. Speaking of, I plan to put a request in my will that I must arrive late to my own funeral.

By the way I love the Sprint commercial where the neighbor texts the other one that his house is an eyesore. And "Ho-Ho-Rendous".

Sorry, my mind is just wandering tonight...

Opposites attract.

2010-10-07T20:53:00.003-05:00

It's been a bit chilly this week. Not cold, so to say, just a bit chilly. Our routine after work has been immediate changing of clothes.

Her: Sweatshirt, Sweatpants, and thick cutesie socks.

Me: Strip down to the undershirt, throw on shorts, and finish it off with some sandals.

But we're both comfortable and happy. So whatevah!

A friend came over for the game last Sunday. He is an avid hunter, and brought us Venison Sausage. Hannah often shares her lunch with a coworker. (I pack big lunches. Not Emelio Estevez in the breakfast Club lunches, but still pretty decent.) Long story short, her coworker was not impressed with Bambi for lunch. I actually felt pretty guilty and almost grilled steaks and chicken that night to make up for it. Catholic Guilt strikes again.

I have to say people often impress me. I don't have the ability to make up a story. To spin a tale so to speak. Sure, I'm decent at rambling on about stuff I've seen, but to actually make something up and tell the story? Amazing.

Some people have the ability to spew bullshit and make up stories like it really happened. I've seen it online and I even work with a guy like this. Where do these stories come from? And how can some people tell outlandish stories that are impossible to believe, and keep a straight face? Why can't I do it? Catholic guilt strikes again? Eh, my talents lie elsewhere I guess.

So there ya have it.

Happy Birthday Hannah!!!

2010-09-13T11:08:00.002-05:00

Happy Birthday to the love of my life. I hope you have a good day and I can't wait to see you!!!

Thanks, Jerk Face!

2010-09-02T17:09:00.003-05:00

I haven't ridden the bike all week because it has been 40-60% chance of rain every day. And I have not seen 1 drop all week.

This morning it was 20% dropping to 10% by the evening. Perfect for riding.

As I sit here 20 minutes before I get off of work I am listening to the thunder.

Really? Seriously? Thanks "Dubya", you couldn't hold off one more day before firing up your hurricane machine? Gosh!

In the past...

2010-08-23T12:56:00.001-05:00

Last week was one of the worst weeks ever for me. Last weekend was one of the best. Thank you for making my life wonderful Hannah! I love you!

It's New Years Eve in Times Square!

2010-08-19T18:52:00.002-05:00

At least it should be as fast as I dropped the ball at work today. I'm not going to get into it but this is not going to be a fun one to fix.

And to make matters worse, I have the feeling I'm going to be hung over tomorrow. Just my luck.

Here's to the weekend, you can't come soon enough.

You must be French because you're a peein'.

2010-08-18T20:01:00.002-05:00

I had to be 10 or 11 years old. We lived in Charleston and it was our 2nd house on the Naval Base. There was a playground right behind our house. Pretty convenient when you're a kid. Swings, slide, merry go round, you name it. It had everything. Except a bathroom.

Now yeah, my house was right there, but come on. If I go inside I might have to do some chores, or stay inside because dinner is almost ready. Screw that. I'm out playing. The point is, I didn't want to go in the house.

On the other end of the park there was a large electrical box, or as we called it, "The Green Box". Perfect. My target was scoped out. (Ladies, that's what guys do. We pee on stuff.) So I moved to the back side opposite of our house. That way I was safe from view.

Perfect time for mom to come check on me. I think the conversation went something like this.

"Michael, what are you doing over there?"

"Nothing."

"Well then come over here."

"Okay, one second."

"Are you peeing?"

"No." (Because I had finally finished. So technically not a lie.)

*Mom walked around and saw the "design" I made peeing on the side of the Green Box. And I was sent to my room.

I'm pretty sure it was more for the lying than the peeing, if I had to guess. But the point was to not go in the house. Guess I missed the mark on that one. Well, I guess they can't all be winners. :)

These are not the droids you're looking for.

2010-08-07T11:15:00.003-05:00

We finally treated ourselves to a much needed phone upgrade. W1's battery went out about 6 months ago and we brought it into the store. They told us we were eligible for an upgrade. At this point I politely asked "About that, when does our contract end with you?" He understood and went in the back to see if they had any batteries for our antique phones. (The contract ended in April.)

After much research (sorry I was ignoring everyone on that visit) I decided the droid was the phone I wanted. We waited until we bought the house (changing phone plans shows up on your credit or some nonsense) and fixed the bumper on "She who is of Thunder and Lightning", them moved on to the phones.

All I can say is, BEST PURCHASE EVER! This phone is tha shit! There are apps for everything. One app I installed uses the camera as a barcode scanner, then searches online and compares prices. We are going to the Verizon store today to see if they can transfer our numbers from the old phones to the new. While we are there I'm going to grab a case cover, or car charger or something, and bring it to the register. When the checker scans it and tells me the price, I'm gonna scan it, tell him how much cheaper I can get it on amazon, and put it back. Because I'm just that kind of guy.

3 days. Only 3 days...

2010-07-29T19:41:00.003-05:00

...and the last load of laundry is in the washing machine. Wow. We have a lot of clothes.

The wedding was fabulous. I had a great time. It was great to see everyone, and people I hadn't seen in a long time. Just a blast.

I'm sure I'll share stories and such. Just not right now. I got stuff to do.

Chatroulette is the devil...

2010-07-13T21:14:00.005-05:00

And the devil is kinda funny. I will warn you beforehand, if you don't want to look at a bunch of penises, don't go on chatroulette.

However, I wish I had seen this guy. It makes me laugh every time.

Disturbing? Yes. Hilarious? Definitely.

Need a sign in my computer room that reads...

2010-07-06T16:33:00.000-05:00

"Low Cut Blouses Will Be Looked Down Upon in This Establishment"

Conversation with the wife.

2010-07-05T20:03:00.003-05:00

"If the trash men pick up the trees I put out, I'm going to start cutting down the other ones tomorrow night."

"What are you going to cut 'em with?"

"Heeyah!"

And I did them all a favor.

2010-06-30T20:51:00.004-05:00

So I walk into the garage at work the other day and I hear someone's stereo blaring. I just figured it was some kid showing off his car stereo to his friends at work. When I rounded the corner I saw it was a guy parking his motorcycle. And the stereo was blaring... Zebra... "Tell me what you waaaaaaaant". Now I love Zebra just as much as the next guy, but really? Seriously? 1982 called, they want their music back. Kinda reminded me of Billy Madison when he went back to High School rockin the REO Speedwagon shirt. (I still love the bird on the hood.)

The Seattle trip was great. We arrive at the airport, exit the plane, head to luggage pickup and Hannah asks "Are you mad at me?" "No baby, I'm not mad."

A minute or so later she asks "Did I do something wrong?" "No baby, I'm not mad. Relax."

And again "Are you mad at me?" "No baby. Come on. I love you. What's up?"

It was this moment when I realized what was going on. I had not been back to Seattle pretty much since I got out of the Navy. I saw the shipyard from the plane window when we were landing. I HATED being in the Navy and I apparently still harbor some bitterness towards it. I explained what the issue is and we moved on. Just in time to find Hannah's little sister. Oh my God the girl is constantly at an 11. She is a fool. And great fun to hang out with. By the time the trip was over my jaw actually hurt from smiling and laughing the whole time.

I feel bad looking back (as a lot of people do) because that place was gorgeous. And I was still a kid the entire time we lived there. My only concern was, when and where will the next round of insane drinking commence? And I never noticed how nice the scenery was. Still to cold for me though. It's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.

The super scary hurricane was on it's way. It was supposed to rain every day this week. But not a drop by our house. Not a drop on my drive to or from work. Why did I not ride the bike? Today would have been perfect. 80's with a nice breeze. Overcast. Like i said, why did I not ride the bike? Because the butterfly effect I guess. (Going out on a limb here.) But maybe the kickstand caused a wind to shift the polar ice glaciers in just a minute enough way to move the storm over my peaceful ride home.

Ummmm. Big ass TV? Check.

I'm looking forward to the wedding coming up. It'll be nice to see a lot of the family again. I probably should have stuck to my daily workout I quit a year ago. I feel bad looking back (as a lot of people do)... Oh wait, didn't we just cover that?

A lot of the equipment in our lab are hallway finds. Like today. One of our servers has an old 14" CRT monitor. I was out in the hall and noticed the lab next to us had a 15" flat panel they threw out into the surplus box. So I snatched it and attached it to our server. When I saw it worked I put the CRT in the surplus box in the hallway with a note taped to it. "Fair trade!" Because we really needed the upgrade and they really needed old crap to send to surplus. It's win - win right?

And I did Hannah and the dry cleaners a favor. But that's for another day.

I'm just sayin...

2010-06-23T17:03:00.002-05:00

Good Jeans.

2010-06-14T10:54:00.000-05:00

I was driving it this morning and noticed the lady in front of me pulling down her sun visor. I was a little confused since I didn't notice the sun. After a second I ducked down and put my face closer to the windshield. Sure enough, the sun was out and bright. But sitting up straight it was blocked by the roof of the truck. It made me think I'm glad to be tall. Even if I'm the runt out of the guys in the family, I'm still taller than most people. Thanks for the good genes Chias. Well played.

The weekend was fairly uneventful for me. I got some laundry and dishes done, and got some quality time in with the kitty. I think the bulk of the excitement was Friday night. We had a couple move in 2 houses over (a house we were going to look at) around the same time we moved in. On Memorial Day weekend (Sunday to be exact) ChiaPop and I were returning from the bike shop and the neighbor across the street was blaring Mexican music. It was loud but inside the house you could only hear it with the TV and AC off. And even that wasn't bad.

I noticed the neighbor 2 houses over staring that way and yelling to us about how he was going to call the cops. I just brushed him off and went inside. It was 2:00 PM on a Sunday afternoon. Really? Too much noise Sunday afternoon on Memorial weekend?

So we get home Friday and he has the Mexican music plaring again. This time it was 6:30 in the evening. Sun was still shinging, etc... It was a Friday night so whatever. About 30 minutes later we ran out to the store. When we went outside the 2 neighbors were in their driveways mean mugging each other from across the street. But the music was no longer playing. We were wondering what was going on until we passed the side street. That's where the cop was parked apparently waiting to see if he turned the music back on.

The jerk face actually called the cops. We don't complain when the block is littered with cars every weekend due to your weekly garage sales. And a little word of advice, don't put the same shit out every weekend. Eventually all of the good stuff will have been picked through and you're left with a bunch of trash nobody wants. Maybe insted of dragging it back in the garage Sunday night you may want to consider dragging it the other way. To the curb.

I'm just saying.

Fire.

2010-06-05T17:59:00.004-05:00

I saw this video on Tosh.0 the other night and cracked up laughing. I love how he shakes the can to get the fire out and ends up lighting the whole porch on fire.

While searching for the above video I also ran across this little gem. I'm so glad I've grown older and wiser than these kids.

Witness protection?

2010-05-24T19:14:00.002-05:00

We were working in the yard this weekend and I left the back door open. The cat tends to come outside on the patio but won't set foot on the grass. Once we thought about it, the cat has never set foot on grass. When I came back to the patio, she scurried back inside (as usual). I was waiting for Hannah when I noticed a bird fly into the tree right next to me. After a few seconds he jumped down to some lower branches and started squawking at me. I'm assuming he was guarding a nest, or scoping out a place to build one. When he jumped down on the fence to get closer to me, I actually started to get nervous. But I wasn't going to let a stupid bird intimidate me and scare me inside. And apparently I didn't have to. I guess the cat sensed I was nervous and bolted out onto the patio literally yelling at the bird, crouched down like it was about to be on. Needless to say, the bird split, and my cat gets lots of attention and petting.

I had an issue on my work computer that caused me to need to contact IT. I was nervous, because the last time I contacted them they screwed my system up majorly. As in, every time I go to a secure website at work, I have to input my email address and password. Which gets old after the 10th time you have to input it, before your first cup of coffee. One website has about 7 different java applets running on it. So guess how many times I have to put it in on that one website. You are correct.

Anyway, I contacted IT about an issue I was having and the guy logged onto my system. I went to the site to show him the issue I was having and after logging in (7 times) he asks "Do you always have to log in that many times?" and I said "Yep, it's at the point that I copy my email address the first time I type it so I can paste it onto the windows as they pop up." He decided the 2 issues may be related and decided to work on the password one first. After rebuilding my "trusted sites" and checking and unchecking a bunch of crap we tested it. Not only do I not have to log in to every site i visit, he also resolved the issue I called about. And it was all done in under an hour. (It took the last guy 3+ hours to screw it up.) The guy today (almost) restored my faith in our IT department. If he lived here I would definitely be buying him lunch.

So as crappy as my day went, and it did, I came home happy. Well, except for being pissed at the trash men. But that's a story for another time.

Monday funk?

2010-05-24T18:53:00.004-05:00

Gotta love these guys.

2010-05-13T08:38:00.002-05:00

Since we moved, I have been coming to work earlier. And in turn, leaving work earlier. So when I walked in this morning, this is what my coworkers taped to my door before they left last night. The best part is, it's the Golf Course at English Turn in New Orleans. These crazy kids! And yes, the note says "Hey Rich Guy".

I changed out a bulb.

2010-05-06T20:53:00.012-05:00

Hannah has been posting pictures as we progress so I thought I would do the same. I want to make sure everyone knows that I am doing stuff too. So I changed out a light bulb. Yeah, now that's what I call work.

Okay, actually Johnny Cutcorner struck once again. When he installed the light fixture he only connected 2 of the 3 socket's positive wire. I changed the bulb to no avail. So I had to remove the fixture and reconnect all 3 wires. But, the light is now working proper.

I am too lazy to take a picture of the front of the dishwasher. But he also neglected to screw it to the counter top. Not fun pulling out the top shelf (that's right) and having the whole dishwasher fall on you.

But things are still progressing. And I am almost done hanging curtains! Nice!

Square peg, round hole.

2010-04-26T19:45:00.003-05:00

I was going to post a picture of food, to keep with my latest posts, but I changed my mind. Even though I should have taken a picture of yesterday's grillins.

With the move we have worked ourselves like dogs. Every waking second if we are not at work we are busting our asses (not busting ass) on our house. We decided Saturday that we needed a break. (Okay, we agreed to go somewhere with some friends, and felt obligated.) So we went wine tasting. I'm glad we did because we needed a break, even if we didn't want to take one. And what better way to spend a day off than drinking in hill country?

So, speaking of moving, one of the things moved was my computer, with speaker and sub woofer. Said sub woofer also contains a hole in the front to port it. That hole just happens to be the perfect size to fit cat toys in. Yes, correct. I love Molly even when she puts 3 cat toys inside my sub woofer. You know, the plastic balls with the bells in them. I knew what was up when I picked it up and it jingled. I was able to get them out.

Last Friday we were able to get the last of our belongings out of the apartment. I can't tell you how great that feeling was to know that I never have to go there again. It was like watching paint dry. And by paint I mean an apartment and by dry I mean turn into a dirty crime ridden ghetto gated cesspool.

In closing, let me just ask, why does Facebook consider Facebook a misspelled word?

It's just a lazy Saturday.

2010-04-03T23:03:00.002-05:00

Trying to keep the mind from swimming I had to look for things to keep occupied today. First on the list, tightening the bike chain. I think all went well. It seemed to be better but I never left 1st gear. I got to the gate of our complex and realized the only thing I grabbed when I walked out the door were a helmet, some tools, and the key. No wallet, no license, no insurance or registration. And the way things are going I would have been "routinely stopped". I just don't have money for the lawyer right now.

Another time passer was the 3 egg omlette. Way delicious. Hannah's had ham, cheddar, and onions. Mine was just ham and cheddar. She didn't even put a dent in hers, I devoured mine. (Okay she ate some but they were HUGE!)

And now I am about to throw some chicken breasts on the grill. Yeah it's 11:00. Doesn't make dinner any less delicious. Plus, it's the weekend. I do what I want.

I am not against the killing of fish...

2010-03-29T21:28:00.003-05:00

W1 is an Intervention Addict. If it's a new one, we had better be home in time to watch it. Which is all good. Some of these people are freaks. I don't feel that hour was completely wasted.

It also often times gives me the opportunity to cook. Tonight was not as much effort though. (We cheated using a Boboli Crust). But it was definitely delicious. Pepperoni, Ham, Pineapple, and Jalapenos with extra cheese made for some delicious pizza. No doubt in my mind.

After Intervention comes a show about Hoarders. They keep a bunch of crap for a long time until their houses are full of it. They even had one where the lady bought the house next door and filled it with more crap. How "Rich Guy" is it that you buy the house next door for storage? Insane.

It made me apologize to W1 for my hoarding, but it was for good reason. I hoard plastic bags from the grocery store. I have a cabinet full of them. The thing is, I don't keep them because I expect to use them, I know I have more than I could ever use. But I always think I would rather them fill a cabinet in my kitchen, than float around the Pacific Ocean killing aquatic life. You know, fishes and octopi and such. (How's that for some Green Peace Tree Hugger crap?)

I also saw this at work.

2010-03-22T21:24:00.002-05:00

All I can say is, really? Are you sure?

Lesson #hundredandsomething. Only interesting to geeks.

2010-03-22T19:58:00.006-05:00

W1 said this may be interesting. I think she's just tired of me not blogging. Either way, it probably won't be an interesting post unless you're into technical crap. No, really, like totally into boring technical crap.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Here is how a 30 minute computer job becomes an all afternoon event.

A guy at work makes the comment his test machine has an error stating his copy of Windows 7 is not genuine. He also mentions on the bottom of the system is a hand written notice stating "1280x576 Resolution. Win7 not supported".

I knew exactly the machine he was speaking of. Because it was my handwriting. Half way through the testing cycle they decided to no longer support that resolution. Why? To make my life Hell is my only guess. So, to get Win7 on those systems requires jumping through hoops, and Norton Ghost. I informed him I had another system that I could just reimage.

I set up the new system and he said "Oh, I also need a WWAN card swapped. Can you do that too?" I replied "No problem, this is one of the few units I can take completely apart. I've had a lot on practice on them. It'll probably take me about 30 minutes." (I have learned over time to use words like "probably", and "should" when telling people how long their computer work will take.)

I took the machine apart in no time. I mean like 5 minutes tops. Everything was going smooth. I pulled out the WWAN card and put that system back together. All was going well as I opened the new machine. It was a much nicer looking, newer revision. I installed the card but that's where the trouble began. There were no wires for the antenna. At that point I could have closed it and gave it to him, but he would get hardly any signal at all. It would definitely had been noticeable.

I looked on our "scrap" shelf and found a broken one with the proper wires. Success, all I would have to do is swap out the screen. 4 screws and we're good to go. So I thought. When I went to pit the new screen on it wouldn't fit. It was an older model and the brackets were cut different. Well, no problem, I can just change out the hinges.

I won't get into those issues, but I finally got them swapped. But now I notice the microphone connector is different. So I commenced to getting the metal prongs out of the plastic adapter. Then I swapped it with the right connector. But it looked like the metal prongs were touching. So I tried to remove them and reinstall them. And I pulled the wire out of the connector...

And downstairs I headed to the soldering lab. As I'm resoldering the 2nd wire the needle nose pliers squeeze too hard and the metal piece goes flying across the lab. Never to be seen again. After searching around, I found a CMOS battery. The motherboard connection fit in the same connector as the microphone. I finally cut the wires and soldered them to the ones connected to the screen. And put the system back together.

So what started as a 30 minute job ended up taking about 3 hours. In the end he had a white system with a black top. The hinge wasn't 100% so you have to give it a good push to open all of the way, and the keyboard is puffed up just a tad on the right side due to the extra wire. But the shit works, and I got to solder and tinker. All in all it made for a decent Friday afternoon. I can guarantee there are other parts of my job I don't enjoy as much.

Another post...

2010-03-13T21:45:00.002-06:00

for Taunt.

NSFW Friday Funk?

2010-03-12T14:04:00.003-06:00

In response to Taunt's Friday Funk.

Spring break.

2010-03-11T20:36:00.003-06:00

Gorgeous day today. I had a wonderful ride in on the bike. And home actually. Sucks that we have no windows in our lab. But at least I have an office. :)

We have been tasked with a pretty large project next week. 3 separate projects actually. The reason we have to do these projects is to cover for one of the other teams. Apparently next week more than half of them will be on Spring Break. Really? Spring Break? Are we in High School?

One of the Marketing Women dropped off a system for me to re-image. She said it's no hurry because she will be on Spring Break next week. Is she going to Daytona?

I stopped by Coworker-R's office today and he showed me a meeting cancellation for next week, and the comment said "Happy Spring Break". When did this happen? When did Spring Break start mattering for people who weren't in school? Whatever, get your fist pump on. Hmm, now that I think about it my boss is taking off next week too.

So it looks like Spring Break is just around the corner. GO SENIORS 2010!!!

Fun bags!

2010-03-04T20:21:00.004-06:00

So I'm doing a google image search for, um ... ... ... sandwiches, yeah, sandwiches. And this came up.

Ziploc Funbags!
Man I loves me some funbags.

To my brothers and them.

2010-02-21T20:53:00.002-06:00

The Saints winning the Superbowl was just amazing. Just unbelievable. I rode that high for a while. The down side was it really made me miss home. I wished I was there when it all went down. To experience the partying first hand. Between the Superbowl and Mardi Gras it had to be insane.

It made me think of the good times I had in the Big Easy. And it made me think of my family. I miss the good times I've had partying with my brothers and sisters. You guys are awesome and I couldn't have picked a better family if I was given a choice. And friends actually.

To be specific I missed being home but it made me realize I have a great life with a great family. I love all of you and I'm glad our family is as crazy as we are. It makes me feel bad for people who don't get along like we do.

You guys are just awesome and I love you!

On the door of my office this morning...

2010-02-08T10:08:00.001-06:00

I've got your "out of warranty" right here!

2010-01-31T11:37:00.003-06:00

We went to a car show yesterday. It was definitely not what I expected. I was under the impression there would be hot rods, concept cars, bikini models... Instead it was all the great cars of 2010 that you will see and have been seeing on the road already. It was cold, and expensive. But I did get to sit in a few of the cars and discovered some stuff. I will NEVER own a Kia Soul, or any Volkswagen for that matter. I just don't fit. Nuff said.

They did have a few nice trucks. I especially liked the Toyota Tundra Carcass Edition. Or maybe it was the tailgate package. I'm not sure of the official name. It was nice though. Had a grill, cutting board, TV and other nonsense in the bed. All I know is I'd love to have that thing in Miami next Sunday.

I was also having issues with my XBOX 360 recently. (The video is pretty boring, just shows the white lines over where the 3d modeling occurs.) I called support and of course it was 3 weeks out of warranty. How convenient for Microsoft. I knew what the issue was, and I could have kept playing it until the GPU overheated and "red ringed", and they would have fixed it for free, but I didn't want to risk damaging other parts, or wait for it to be returned. So for about $25 (they would have charged $140) I followed a tutorial online and fixed it myself. Better than they would have done. I do have to admit I was a bit nervous about drilling holes in the casing, but it worked out in the end. And I only had a few spare parts. :) It was out of warranty anyway, right?

I'm guessing it worked because it was acting up after about 10 minutes originally, and I stayed up until 3:00 AM playing last night without seeing the issue.

I love the interwebs...

2010-01-29T22:24:00.002-06:00

Superbowl XLIV

2010-01-24T21:50:00.002-06:00

How is it my fault?

2010-01-23T19:56:00.003-06:00

While W1 was volunteering at the library this morning I was running around doing some house work. The time to myself allowed my mind to wander. Which often leads to silliness and nonsense. So I decided to share my latest thought.

When I was young we did not have Attention Deficit Disorder. But I bet if we did I would have been diagnosed with it. Understandably. But here's what my problem is with ADD. Why do I have to be the one with the disorder? Why is my lack of attention a disorder?

Maybe it's not me with a disorder. Maybe you have boring ass story disorder. Maybe if you were more interesting, I would pay attention to what you are talking about. It's not my fault that your story is uninteresting, and you are only half way through it. I don't seem to have that issue paying attention to song lyrics, or video games. You know, stuff that isn't boring. I'm just saying.

So my thought is, what if we put the boring people on meds? They seem to be the ones with the disorder. Give THEM some meds to make them more interesting. And quit labeling everything a disorder.

It's mostly because I'm the greatest.

2010-01-21T21:09:00.005-06:00

Work has been wild and I play way too much Modern Warfare 2. I keep trying to figure out why I'm always tired, then I remember that I keep staying up late playing on the xbox.

I had my weekly meeting with my boss and he gave me an achievement award. I didn't have time to check it out today but it seems to involve money. He said it was for improving at my job over the last year. Since I started the job in January of last year I would hope by now I've improved. But that's cool with me. I'll take an award.

Then I stopped by the restroom before I left for the day and I set my helmet on a shelf next to a laptop bag. When I was walking back to the sink I saw the Director of my department grabbing his bag and he tells me...

"That's a wild helmet. It's nice."

"Oh, Thank you. I got it for my birthday last month."

"What do you ride?"

"A CBR F3."

"How do you like that jacket?"

"Um, it's comfortable. The mesh lets it breathe. It's better than my old one that had leather at the top. It was very hot in the summer."

"Would you wear yellow?"

(Is this a trick question? And I'm carrying on this conversation in the restroom.) "Um, yeah. It's good to be seen around here."

"I had a Harley but I sold it. I bought the yellow jacket so I would be seen. You look about my size. Stop by my desk tomorrow and if I remember I'll bring it in and you can have it. It's that same kind if mesh. And it's pretty much brand new."

"Wow, thank you."

It was quite an interesting conversation. He's a really cool guy though. Every time I've spoken with him he's been real down to earth.

It turned out to be a pretty good day.

Tomorrow's lunch and lunch emails should be interesting. Coworker C is originally from Minnesota and he often flys back to watch the Vikings. (His sister works for the airline.) I can't wait for the Saints to stomp the Vikings this Sunday. Who dat!

I make no apologies.

2010-01-07T20:46:00.007-06:00

Except when they are due. Although I'm not going to apologize for not blogging. This time I realized I'm not sorry. I couldn't think of anything amuzing to write about so I didn't waste my time boring you all. And as far as what's been going on, you were all either there, or read about it somewhere else. Because I do crap that makes people write about it. Even if it's just a police report. Although I haven't had any of those written up about me recently. Knock on George Washington's dentures.

The last sentence in that paragraph caused me to "google" something. And after googling I discovered why wiki's suck. Yeah, there is a wealth of information out there, but that doesn't mean it is correct.

Case in point:

I googled "were george washington's teeth made of wood" and according to wiki.answers.com, the answer is "his teeth were really made out of wood".

Then, I googled "were george washington's dentures made of wood" and according to wiki.answers.com, the answer is no.

So WTF? Or should I say, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? Same site, different answer.

My 2 weeks off was great, and went by way too fast. I had a wonderful Christmas and New Year. Yes it's Christmas, if you want to call it The Holidays then don't celebrate it, take your ass to work. And don't expect time and a half or double time.

Along the lines of politically correct what is the deal with "Little People"? When I grew up there were midgets and dwarfs. And there are differences. But now we lump them into the category of "Little People". I don't know about all that. I think I would be offended to be called a "Little Person". Hell, I don't think I want to be described as "Little" anything. That's all I'm saying.

I also realized something in the past week or so, given the opportunity I will take killing people on xbox live over blogging. Time and time again. But tonight I decided to do something different. You're welcome. ;)

Coworker C and the lunch crew.

2009-12-14T22:36:00.002-06:00

I use to blog about coworker C when I first moved here. He was the lab manager in the 2nd lab I worked in. Like typical guys we joked and clowned each other. He is currently in our Friday Lunch Crew which has grown to 10 "regulars" and 2 "sometimes". So every Friday emails bounce around trying to get us to decide on where to go that week. Photoshopped images along with insults are fired repeatedly. Well, coworker C photoshopped me good this past week, and well, if you can't laugh at yourself... I laughed so hard, I wouldn't feel right not sharing.

Who Dat!

2009-12-13T18:25:00.008-06:00

13-0. Go Saints!

We were on the plane heading back to Houston so the last I saw it was 16 - 6 in our favor with about 7 seconds left in the half. When we landed H2 texted me to tell me the game had ended and we were still undefeated. Nice work boys!

As we drove away from the airport we got behind a truck and had to take a picture. Someone wrote some graffiti in the dirt on the back of the truck. Looks like they're feeling the fever here in Houston as well.

I guess on Sundays at the airport the workers are allowed to wear their favorite teams jerseys because we saw a lot of them. Even the lady at the lost baggage claim desk had on a Saints Jersey. Guess what we were doing there. Reporting our lost luggage maybe?

It seems to me that every time I try to look out for others and do nice things for others I end up getting screwed over. I have decided I am done with that. Screw you world, you're on your own.

On the flight to New Orleans the plane was full. There was an older couple who had to check their bags at the last minute because all of the overhead bins were full. We were on a tiny plane. So after we did the majority of our Christmas shopping yesterday, and got poured on walking back to the hotel, we bought an extra bag to bring it all home. On the way to the airport I decided even though it was definitely carry on size, the nice thing to do would be to check it. Especially since we were already checking 2 other bags. Hannah and I discussed it back and forth and I was pretty adamant about doing the nice thing. Of course, this time most of the overhead bins were empty and there would have been plenty of room.

As we were sitting on the plane I looked out the window and saw our suitcase being loaded into the plane, and then the garment bag was right behind it. I pointed them out to Hannah and stated "They must have already loaded the other bag before I started looking out the window". (Or not.) So imagine how excited I was when our garment bag was the first thing on the carousel at baggage claim, followed shortly by the suitcase. That joy did not last long and the stress level started rising more and more as the new bag we just bought, that was full of presents, that we just bought, never showed up. Eventually the carousel stopped and our new bag was nowhere to be found. I believe that was when I just yelled "Fuck!"

So we went to report the missing baggage and the lady told us not to worry, that they would find it. We got to the parking lot and looked at the form they gave us, only to discover the name on the "claim form" wasn't ours. They gave us someone else's lost luggage form. They are definitely not instilling a lot of faith in me. So we headed back in and got "our" form.

They called us about 2 hours ago and said they found it, and a courier would get in touch with us and deliver it between 6 and 9 tonight. I still have not heard from said courier and the way things have been going I'll believe it when I see it. As an added bonus, Hannah's phone was also in that bag. How nice is that?

The List. Birthday, Christmas, whatever...

2009-12-06T21:39:00.003-06:00

Just a heads up. Here's my wish list.

Motorcycle Gloves. Black or Red, XL. Which ever.

Icon Dia De Los Muertos Helmet in Black, XL. I've had the current one for about 4 years and it has become quite ripe. I'm just sayin.

Assassins Creed 2 for XBOX 360.

Left 4 Dead 2 for XBOX 360.

And / Or a decent digital camera. I accidently dropped mine about 2 feet off of the ground with the battery door opened and the plastic clip that holds the battery in broke. I called the manufacturer and tried to see if I could order a replacement clip and they told me "The retaining clip is not a replaceable part on that printer." I responded "Well, is it replaceable on the Digital Camera I'm calling about?". After being put on hold for 5 minutes I was informed "The retaining clip is not a replaceable part on that Digital Camera.".

It snowed Friday which was pretty wild. So I got to leave around 3:00. It was a fun drive home. It reminded me of Christmas 2004. Speaking of cold, how about them Saints? 12-0. It had to be cold up in Washington. I swear by the time the season is over they are going to give me a heart attack. They are kicking some serious ass though. Just amazing.

At my work a few of the groups have decorated for the holidays. I noticed in one area they have scented candles, or something that makes a powerful Pumpkin Pie scent. According to Manswers Pumpkin Pie is the scent that causes the highest level of arousal in women. (Of course I can't find the clip.) So I'm wondering how thankful some of these husbands are and they don't even know why.

Happy Birthday Mom!

2009-12-03T20:04:00.001-06:00

I love you!

The Baby Whisperer.

2009-11-18T13:58:00.000-06:00

I seem to have mystical powers over babies. That's right, I said it. And I could probably beat any baby at arm wrestling!

Last weekend we went to Sonic for lunch. While we were eating a guy shows up and tried to go inside. He then states "What kind of Sonic don't let you go inside?". I thought to myself "All of them?" So he goes to the outside order box and says "Give me 2 cups of that ice." After about 2 minutes a guy comes out with 2 cups of ice and tells him it'll be 76 cents, to which he replies "Oh, y'all got that good ice. That's alright, I got a little change in my pocket." He pays for the ice and leaves.

While this is going on a family shows up and sits at the table next to us. After a few minutes I sense a child walking up to our table. I quickly glare in his direction to let him know I did not want to be bothered. My glare quickly changes to a smile when I see he came over to give me a piece of candy. What's up with that? Random children are just giving me candy now.

Fast forward to today. Everyone here has errands to run so I headed over to Taco Bell by myself. A man shows up with a couple in there late teens and a cute little blonde haired blue eyed baby. Had to be less than a year old. They sat her with her back to me but she kept turning around to look at me. If I wasn't looking back, she would make a noise to attract my attention until I looked at her and smiled.

What none of you know is that I'm secretly building an army. I'm using my telepathic powers to control these children, then 20 years from now I will send out a signal and take over the world.

What? The secret is out? Did I just say it out loud? Oh, um, I was just kidding. None of that is going to happen. I promise.

In case you were curious.

2009-11-05T20:39:00.000-06:00

Here's what the 8.5 hour drive looked like.

I have...

2009-11-04T20:35:00.000-06:00

...been feeling pretty UGH for a day or two. I thought it was my body retaliating for the abuse I put it through last weekend. The next day I felt like I had run a marathon. Just sore. But it was totally worth it. I had a great time. Thanks everyone!

I think I misjudged my symptoms and actually caught a cold. Not a lot of fun. High fever, cold sweats. It happens to me every few years or so. I break out in a rash, my fever burns everything inside that is ailing me, then it breaks and I wake up feeling wonderful. I didn't want to prolong the fever doing it's thing so I haven't been taking any medicine.

Hannah finally decided enough was enough and told me I need to start taking medicine. One of the things I was taking were Halls Lozenges. The little square tube of them. They were working well, and I found a whole bag of them in the medicine cabinet. On my way to work today I ate one. It was the same flavor as the square ones, but this one was round, like a piece of candy. And when it was almost gone I discovered the center was chock full of slimy liquid nastiness. It was horrible. I see why they were in the cabinet. Whoever thought this was a good idea should be shot.

Unfortunately with the cold I haven't ridden the bike the last two days. I thought about it this morning until I almost fell over in the shower. Twice. I decided my balance was probably not the best at the moment and four wheels was probably the way to go.

Our cat use to misbehave when she was little and we'd squirt her with a water bottle. That was many years ago. But just recently she started acting up again so I bought a new squirt bottle. It only took one time. She apparently remembered. So last night I'm laying in bed and the cat was with me. I took one squirt of chloraseptic and never saw her again the rest of the night.

"Imma come back to this Wendy's, it makes me feel like I'm home."

2009-10-23T22:13:00.000-05:00

We decided to do something fast and easy for dinner, so we hit up Wendy's. I have to say this is the worst Wendy's ever. We had to wait in line for 10 minutes before this brain surgeon took our order. Which wouldn't be too bad, except we were the only people in the restaurant.

When it came time to place my order, the conversation went something like this:

"What can I getcha?"

"A #2, no tomatoes, no onions."

"You want the combo?"

"Naw, just the fries."

I mean seriously, isn't the #2 a combo? Once we finished ordering she starts to put the food on the tray and she put down 2 orders of fries. I immediately picked one order up and tossed it over the counter and yelled "Dumbass! That was supposed to be a chili!".

Okay, actually that's what I thought, instead I pointed at one and said "Um, that was supposed to be a chili." So she said "Aw, just keep the extra fries", and made my chili. We sat down to eat and the fun ensued.

The couple after us ordered 4 combo's. Lucky for them, another lady who actually had her shit together started taking the orders. And barking them. The 4 combos happened to be Baconators! And the brain surgeon that took our order only had enough bacon to make 3. So the demanding cashier tells brain surgeon to cook more bacon in the oven.

"Which button do I push?"

"The one that says Cook Bacon." And she called it out loud! Ms. Dorothy from Circle K style.

Seriously. It was coming from the kitchen and it made me miss the Big Easy.

*"You should be more flexible."

2009-10-21T13:13:00.000-05:00

Those of you who know me, know I am late. Sorry, that's what you get. Deal with it.

My hours are 9-6 but I usually roll in around 9:10 - 9:15. Well on Friday our entire group received an email from my boss saying everyone needs to be here by 9:00 at the latest.

I have no problem with this. (Okay, actually I have a big problem with this, but whatever.) He on the other hand is now learning a lesson on flexibility himself. If he has a problem with me being 10-15 minutes late in the morning, I suddenly have a problem staying 30 - 60 minutes late off the clock EVERY day to try to get all of my work done. Especially when I eat lunch at my desk and continue to work 3-4 days a week. Not any more.

So Monday, I arrived at 8:40 and promptly left at 5:40. Yesterday was another 8:40 - 5:40 day. I was a little slow today so it looks like I'm here until 5:55. I wonder how long it will take those jerks that like to show up at 6:00 to ask for my "help" at the last second every day to catch on to my new hours. (I say that like I care.)

The door swings both ways. I'm just saying. If it hasn't been a problem for the last 2 years why is it one now? Either way they're losing out on 2-5 extra hours a week unpaid, and I get to head home before the sun goes down.

* A message from my big boss to one of my co-workers who does the 8-5 shift.

5-0

2009-10-18T22:22:00.000-05:00

Awesome Saints game. I sat and watched the entire game. Pretty impressive. Not a good weekend to run out of blood pressure medication. 48 - 27. Not bad, not bad at all.

They owned the dome like I own Billy Gillette's football.

Good game!

You need to relax.

2009-10-14T20:04:00.000-05:00

I had a job dropped in my lap last Thursday that upset me a bit. To top it off, the guy who was originally tasked with the job tried to throw me under the bus about giving him attitude. I'm going to do your job because your boss changed his mind and doesn't want you to do it? Damn right I'm giving you attitude, and I'll call you out in our conversation while I'm at it.

So our guys get the task done, save the day, blah blah blah. Today I run into the guy while I'm reading some paperwork up front putting out more fires. And the douchebag tells me "You should start smoking, it's a great stress release." So once again I had to give this guy a little attitude.

And not that I'm counting but Friday will be 7 months.

"I'm not going to give myself diabetes just because this coffee sucks."

2009-10-14T19:27:00.000-05:00

That was the comment my replacement made a few days ago, and I felt it was noteworthy.

Speaking of my replacement, once again my boss gets the short end of the stick. Coworker R has moved on to another group. You know the drill. Follow the money. So my replacement from my old job (Coworker V) is now doing Coworker R's job. Coworker V's replacement has not arrived. He was supposed to start Monday but there is an issue with the background investigation. And since this is Coworker V's friend, V has got to be shitting himself. He said it has something to do with the guy having a top secret clearance at a previous job, although I would image that would do everything but hold up his current background investigation. But that's just me. In the meantime my original job position is unfilled, again, and my boss doesn't have anyone to test his stuff, again. Sucks to be him I guess.

To top it all off, Coworker V is going to Taiwan for a week and a half to be trained on his job. While he is gone, guess who gets to cover for him. That's right, this guy! So not only are we short 2 guys (1 being a new hire who will need to be trained. I wonder who is going to have to train him how to do the job I use to do.) I get to do my normal job, train a new guy, and manage the servers.

Speaking of work I must be setting my sights towards management. I found myself wondering how messed up it would be to fire someone by recorded message. Hear me out.

Johnny gets an e-vite to a conference call regarding some new product. He's all psyched because he's heard rumors about this badass product coming out, and he's gonna be on the team. He dials in and puts in an access code only to hear "If you have been directed to dial this number, your services are no longer needed at "insert company". Please gather your belongings and someone will arrive shortly to walk you off property." Saves the trouble of having to face the person getting fired.

Yeah, I agree. That's pretty messed up. I believe you may see that person at work again, wearing camouflage. I'm just saying.

Where is my mind?

2009-10-11T00:45:00.000-05:00

Our friend Owen is in town so we've been staying up a bit late. We went to sleep at 1:00 AM and I woke up this morning at 8:00 AM. The reason for this was a bit crazy. I was dreaming Uncle Fester was trying to sexually assault me. Not an actor, or someone who looks like him. It was The Uncle Fester. I was punching him to keep him away, but he kept trying to grope me.

It was really strange and I ended up finding a hatchet on the bathroom sink (not ours, I'm not sure whose house we were in, The Addams home maybe). I had to hit him in the back of the head with the hatchet. After hitting him 2-3 times with the back side of the hatchet I woke up. I laid there for about 45 minutes but could not fall back asleep. So I got up and started a pot of coffee. How's that for an interesting and exciting start of your day?

What was all that about?

On another note we were talking with a Realtor and she mentioned "cooking a house". I had never heard of this but apparently it's a way to commit insurance fraud. She said they spray the bottoms of the walls with water, then they turn up the heater to about 80-90 degrees and leave for 2 weeks. Apparently the heat and moisture will cause a lot of mold. Now in my opinion, if you are smart enough to think up that scheme, you should be smart enough to teach science.

Spread the lie.

2009-09-30T20:45:00.000-05:00

People are always complaining about how the government lies to them. So I started thinking, why does the government get all of the fun? We can spread a lie and help people at the same time. Are ya ready? Help me out with this one.

"Did you know, every time you use your turn signal you burn 8 calories!"

It'll totally work. Trust me. I think I'll start with tee shirts. Maybe move on to a billboard. Who knows? Get one of those banners drug behind a plane to fly around the city! Lets get this one out there and make the world a better place.

Animal Planet is full of shit.

2009-09-27T21:45:00.000-05:00

Yeah yeah yeah, we all know I love the animals. And with Cartoon Network out of commission, at least for us, I moved on to Animal Planet. It was a show about animals attacking humans. I was totally buying into their crap until they started spouting silliness.

They started out with the Black Bear. Their fact was a typical black bear measures up to 6 feet. They had an awesome animation that showed this measured on the bear. It was amazingly fascinating.

Next came the mountain lion. Often called a "panther, cougar, or puma". A mountain lion can measure up to 6 feet. And again with the graphic. Wait, what? 6 feet? As big as a black bear? Amazingly fascinating.

Next up was a Buck. During mating season a buck becomes a lot more aggressive. I wonder how big a full grown buck can measure. Guess what? A full grown buck can measure up to 6 feet. Yep, it sure can. I saw the graphic.

Now hold on a minute. A black bear, mountain lion, and freaking deer are not the same size animal. I don't care what your graphic says, they are 3 very different sized animals.

Up next is the american alligator. If they show me a graph depicting a 6 foot american alligator I'm gonna start making some angry phone calls.

Speaking of animals, W1 made a comment about a week ago that I did not reply to. That time. She stated the cat was way too tiny and we needed to fatten her up. Now I give her credit, there are 3 large things on our cat. Her eyes, her ears, and her ass. Other than that she is a very petite 2-3 lb kitty. But she is 15 years old, and has been a very petite 2-3 lb kitty her whole life.

So yesterday when she said it again I could not stay quiet. The poor cat has spent her entire life weighing 3 lbs tops, why is it all of a sudden bad? I'm sure by now her arthritis is starting to kick in, how mean would it be to add a few more lbs to her? Make her lug a fat ass body around for the final years.

In her defense W1 wanted to do it out of love. She planned on spoiling her with a lot more wet food and cat treats. Her heart was in the right place. I just found it amusing. I love you and our kitty my angel.

Dangerous addiction.

2009-09-25T22:16:00.000-05:00

One thing you may not know about me is that I have a sick addiction to office supplies. Whenever we go to the grocery store, or Wal-Mart, or anywhere that sells post it's or packages of pens, I have to go look at them. I don't know why it is. I just want a lot of cool pens, and stuff to write on. I rarely use any of them, I just want them. It scares even me sometimes.

So as we are relaxing, watching TV tonight W1 turns to me and says "I have to go to Office Depot tomorrow and pick up some stuff for work. I'll probably go in the morning while you are still sleeping and get it out of the way".

What the Hell is that? She's walking through rows and rows of office supplies while I'm at home probably dreaming about them. Have I done something wrong? Are you mad at me? I mean it has half of the words "office supplies" in the name.

On the contrary my love, we can get up early tomorrow if you like. I've been eyeing poster board online all day. :D

"My Ex-Boyfriend just kicked in the front door."

2009-09-25T20:22:00.000-05:00

I have so many problems with this commercial I don't even know where to begin. So lets start here.

Although it is raining, she doesn't recognize her ex's SUV? Especially after they just pulled up behind him. It wasn't like he was ducking down. He just sat there watching them. The new boyfriend didn't notice some dude sitting in the car in front of his old lady's house?

Then the dude walks back to the car, once again not noticing some dude sitting in front of her house and speeds off. (Like she wouldn't have invited him in, at least long enough to let the rain die down. Maybe the date sucked.)

After the new boyfriend leaves, the ex walks up and kicks in the front door. The loud ass alarm does not phase him, but the telephone ringing does? Then he takes off. Um hello? She knows who you are. If he was angry enough to kick the door in without even a mask on he would have killed her long before anyone could show up. What can they do in that situation, sit on the line and listen to her get murdered?

I'm just not buying it. But fear is good marketing. Heads up though ladies, if your psycho ex boyfriend is crazy enough to park in front of your house waiting for you to return from a date, and then kicks your door in, don't expect the phone ringing to scare him away. It's not gonna happen.

Aw come on now!

2009-09-22T22:20:00.000-05:00

90% of my television happens to be the Cartoon Network. I have often thought, when my coworkers discuss the reality shows they watch, how the only thing I find on TV these days worth watching are the cartoons. King of the Hill, Family Guy, Robot Chicken, Simpsons, Futurama... And so on, and so on.

We pay about $40 a month for basic cable through our apartment complex. (As opposed to $50 to the local cable provider.) Just add it to the rent check and go on about your business. You don't get the cool menus or the "box" but since we don't need HBO, HBO 2, Showtime, ESPN 14-937, it's no big deal. As long as I have my cartoons.

So why not keep with our latest turn of events and spill the local cable company / apartment complex battle into our lovely home. (This notice was taped to the cable box on the side of the building with a HUGE pad lock.) Mid show tonight a message came across the screen informing us as of today a digital cable box is required to view the cartoon network. Bastards!

I can't wait to get out of this complex!

Had to share.

2009-09-22T20:33:00.000-05:00

I just saw this on Facebook and laughed so hard I had to pee.

Attention Residents:

2009-09-20T19:59:00.000-05:00

"You suck and we hate you! Please leave our crappy complex. We've been doing everything we can to make you hate us. So once again bend over."

That's pretty much what our apartment complex must be saying. It's like rapid fire inconveniences. This is the note that arrived on everyone's door Friday when they returned from work.

I mean come on. When we moved in we were told we couldn't have a charcoal grill and a gas one was required for safety reasons. So we dropped $150-200 on a propane grill and tank, only to be told now we can't even leave it on the patio whether "dormant or in use".

I'm supposed to get rid of the grill? The grill that kept me fed for WEEKS after Hurricane Ike when I had no power. While the staff sit at the sister complex in the AC and I heated hot dogs and beans every night for sustenance. The grill that I use 3-5 times a week. Kiss my entire ass.

I think next week they are going to limit the hours we are actually allowed to spend inside of our apartments each week. I'm pretty sure I've heard rumors.

Well, I better run. I have chicken and sausage to flip.

(Side note, as I opened the grill to pull the food off we ran out of propane. Excellent timing.)

Like you care...

2009-09-17T20:44:00.000-05:00

It seems that I’ve been tagged by Chiapop at Life on the (L)edge. :)

Here are the rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Share your ABC s.
3. Tag three people at the end by linking to their blogs.
4. Let the three tagged people know they have been tagged.
5. Do not tag the same person repeatedly but try to tag different people, so there is a big network of bloggers doing this tag.

Available or single? No I am not.

Best Friend? Miguel

Cake or Pie? Red Velvet Cake. (Because it's made with beets).

Drink of choice? Syrah (Or Heineken when I need that old friend)

Essential item for every day use? Laptop.

Favorite Color? Verde (Green)

Google? Numerous times a day.

Hometown? Born in New York, grew up in N'awlins.

Indulgences? You name it.

January or February? February because it's short so paydays are closer together.

Life is incomplete without? Hannah.

Marriage date? June 3rd.

Number of siblings? 3

Oranges or apples? Granny Smith.

Phobias and fears? Fish. Whatever, shut up! You're scared of stuff too.

Quote for the day? "If we hit that bull's eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate." - Zapp Brannigan

Reason to smile? I'm not at work.

Season? Lemon Pepper.

Tag 3 people? I don't know 3 people with blogs that haven't already been tagged.

Unknown fact about me? I got punched in the face 3 times rapid fire 2 nights before I stood in my sisters wedding. I'm glad I don't bruise easily.

Vegetable you hate? Tomatoes, onions, beets, cauliflower, celery, eggplant, cabbage, radishes... Should I keep going?

Worst habit? You name it...

X -rays you’ve had? My foot and my teeth.

Zodiac sign? Sagittarius. (That horse dude.)

Lies Lies Lies Yeah!

2009-09-16T22:25:00.000-05:00

Watching TV tonight I made the comment to W1 that one of my coworkers was on my case about getting a flu shot.

W1's lie:
Tell her you can't get the shot because of the blood pressure medication you're on.

My lie:
Screw that. I'm gonna wait til Monday and tell her I got it over the weekend. Maybe even throw in a "Thanks for reminding me!"

It's all about the delivery.

(Name) drop it like it's hot.

2009-09-13T20:00:00.000-05:00

First off. Happy Birthday my sweet angel! I am so glad you chose me to spend your life with, and I can't wait to spend more and more birthdays with you.

I was at work Thursday and as all of you know I work for a VERY large computer corporation. I've had some of these tenderfoot marketing individuals name drop on me in an attempt to put a rush on a favor, but it's usually our department head, or my bosses boss. This time was unbelievable, the lady actually name dropped the CEO. The CEO of the freakin company needs this computer ready tomorrow? But he doesn't even live in the same state. Anyway, name dropping the CEO an hour before I get off work and then asking me to do about 3 and 1/2 hours of work doesn't make me want to help you out now or in the future. Whatever, it was ready by Friday afternoon.

It rained most of last week so hopefully this week will be better. Although I think the plants are pretty pleased with the rain. The things are probably damn near drowning. I was only able to ride the bike one day because of the rain, although it was a short week. Yeah, this week will definitely be better. No doubt.

We have replaced the coworker who was let go. I guess the new guy is alright. I can't wait until he gets the hang of everything so I'm not stuck taking up the rest of the slack. But it does make the weeks fly by. But then again, the weekends fly by too.

Speaking of, I hope everyone is ready for a new work week. I know I am. A whole lot more of the same. But it is nice to have that paycheck. And to have somewhere to go during the week.

Sorry this one wasn't all that great. Still a little hung over. Once again, happy birthday my love. I hope you enjoyed the weekend. I love you. :)

Circus of mistakes.

2009-09-03T21:13:00.000-05:00

Comedy of errors. Same difference. It's how work has been without a doubt. I'll start today and move my way backward. Because I want to, that's why.

This morning, I spent most of my time looking for a non existent battery that doesn't exist. Then, this afternoon I was tasked with taking apart a laptop and replacing some parts.

But all was not well. Long story short, it didn't work when I was done. Of course they need it first thing tomorrow. So I worked late and got it fixed. There are too many details and I don't want to get into it.

On my way in to work today I was in the left lane. Traffic was pretty tight and I was coming close to the toll booth. All of a sudden I saw another bike shoot into my lane right behind me from the right. I immediately noticed it was a cop. First instinct, I look at the speedometer. "70 in a 65? Not bad. Definitely not worth pulling me over for. What did I do?" My first thought? "Come on man, I'm like 2 weeks from my deferral on the last ticket. If you ticket me I have to pay the last one too. For 70 in a 65? Come on man." All of this occurred in my mind in a time frame of about 5 seconds. Because that's about how long it was before he rocketed past me. In my lane.

God forbid I go a little faster than everyone else in traffic. I get not one, but two tickets. He, on the other hand, can pass me in my lane at a good 20 over. Must be nice.

And we rewind to Monday. I arrived at work wishing the weekend had been longer, as usual. I came into the lab and saw one of my co workers wasn't there. He's usually in early and we chat about our weekends. I sat down and started checking my emails. Around 10:30 AM on Saturday I was copied on an email from security telling me he had been terminated and his badge was deactivated. (Like did the red dot on his palm start blinking?) I was impressed today though when I found out he was telling his boss's boss's boss (that's right, not a typo) to come back later. He was "too busy to do that" and would have an answer later. On more than one occasion.

Mad props my man! That's all I can say.

It sucks though because he was a friend. I met him through Coworker R shortly after we moved here, and we hung out on the weekends every now and then. He didn't start working in our group until about a year ago, but we had been hanging out for a while. So basically one of my friends got fired. Last time they fired someone in my group I found out about an hour before they did it. I felt really bad knowing it was coming and wished I was caught by surprise too. This time I did not know it was coming and it still sucked.

Hey guess what? Another Thursday post. I promise I'm not doing it on purpose.

Huggin trees.

2009-08-23T17:26:00.000-05:00

We stopped by the Sketchers store today. We should have checked for Birkenstocks. Because when we returned home, we did a rescue mission. It also involved not one, but two trips to Home Depot. We grossly underestimated the task we were taking on. But it needed to be done.

If you've ever been to our apartment you have probably seen the gigantic aloe plant outside. It's been there since we've been here and it continues to grow. I wish I had taken pictures before we took the plant apart. When it was all said and done, there were sixteen plants in one pot. And not a very big pot.

Our first trip we grabbed one large bag of dirt and three pots. Then we uprooted everything and saw what we were dealing with. We went back for two more large bags of dirt and seven more pots. And for the record, potting soil smells like poo. An hour or two later this is what we had.

We put the main / largest plant back in the original pot. It was being literally uprooted by all the others. It leans way to the side but I'm hoping with the extra room for roots it will get healthy and open back up towards the sun. I'll have to keep an eye on it.

Looks like all of you are soon to be proud owners of aloe plants.

Thursday Jazz.

2009-08-20T20:47:00.000-05:00

Okay, it's not Friday, and this is not Taunt Society, but still some impressive jazz.

Apparently my new thing is blogging on Thursday.

Neglect is a 4 letter word. (Plus 3)

2009-08-13T12:45:00.000-05:00

My mom always told me, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". Because of that, I have once again neglected my blog.

Work and everything else has been driving me crazy! But I do want to say "Thanks" to Patti. Your phone call yesterday morning made my day. I really needed that. :)

Friday lunch.

2009-07-30T20:34:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is Friday, and we always try to do a lab lunch. Basically everyone who normally works in the lab (7 of us) try to go to lunch together, and we often invite Coworker C from my old lab among others. It's nice to just get out for a while, and to talk to people away from work.

Our biggest issue has been deciding where to eat. I swear I work with a bunch of candy asses. Okay, I'm just as picky and indecisive but you all don't know that about me. It's all good though because our problem has been solved, and so can yours. Check it out!

Wanna run?

2009-07-24T21:07:00.000-05:00

I was riding home from work the other day sitting at a light. After a minute or so an F4 pulled up next to me and started talking to me. I had to turn off my ipod and finally realized he wanted to know if I had a radar detector. This fool wanted to race. I told him "No" and when the light changed he took off anyway. At the next light I mentioned I not only was without a radar detector, I was also working on a deferral for a previous ticket. (Green light, go!) At the next light he tells me, "I know a really good lawyer" and commences to verbally giving me his email address. I was supposed to email him for the lawyer's information.

Now I noticed when he was pulling away, he didn't even have a license plate. I noticed some guys around here will bend their plate up so it can't be read very easily. But no, this fool did not have a license plate at all. So when I got home, thinking of my ticket track record as it is, I decided it was not in my best interest to email this guy. It would not be smart for me to start hanging around with a guy who wants to race every stranger, and does not have a license plate at all. But at least he was ready to hand out his lawyers info (which was pretty nice of him).

Powerless.

2009-07-19T21:07:00.000-05:00

Thursday night we were watching TV and the power flickered, then went out. Woo hoo! After about 15 minutes when it didn't come back on, W1 went to bed, and I went out to investigate the damage. You know, just to see if it was our building, or the whole complex. I had planned on going to the parking garage thinking it'd be the perfect vantage point to see the whole area. I was almost to the garage when I saw the red, yellow, orange, and blue lights. Fire trucks, police cars, construction workers, you name it. I went and joined the crowd by the fence. On the other side was a car, upside down, and a power pole, on the ground in pieces. There was all kinds of commotion. I immediately called W1 and told her to get dressed. I met her at the door and we walked back to the fence. There was a fireman on all fours by the window talking to the lady. It was crazy to see. After about 20 minutes a bunch of workers surrounded the car and pulled her out. She was put on a stretcher and taken away. It was a good hour before the car was flipped and we were informed it would be 3 more hours before the hole was dug, pole replaced, and power restored. Must have been waiting on a crew from Dallas?

I hung out for a while watching the craziness. People coming up the opposite side of the road, flying. Now given this is a dark, windy area of road, right at a curve. The people coming the opposite direction probably never saw what was going on until they got there. But it was funny to hear tires screech when they see the cops across the street and slam the brakes. And the people who stayed around with me (usually the drunk ones who stay behind) had all sorts of silliness to talk about. Politics, bad mouth the complex, war, the bitch who took out the power... When the cop was telling us we would be without power for a few hours people asked what happened. Basically a lady speeding hit a curb, flipped the car, and took out a power pole. So a lady asks very politely "Do you know what hospital she was taken to?", like she was ready to send flowers. Then follows up angrily "Because I wanna punch that bitch in the face for knocking my power out!" To which her old man, who was bald with a moustache like Snidely Whiplash, tells her "Don't bring bad karma with the negative talk baby."

The next morning the power was still out but I had my fond memories.

Happy Birthday Ian.

2009-07-18T13:06:00.000-05:00

I hope you have a great day man! (I'm pretty sure that's what she said.)

Facebook status.

2009-07-18T11:40:00.000-05:00

I wanted to make my status "Michael is What the f**k is wrong with you people?". Just to do it. I won't, but I want to.

At the entrance to the parking garage at work we have what I call the cheese grater. You have to scan your badge and push through this contraption. On the outside is a poster that says "Tailgating is everyones problem..." It had a picture of a crocodile under water with the eyes and snout poking out. Then is goes on to say how we should report people scanning their badge and walking 2 people through at once.

So I was walking down the stairs in the parking garage at work and overheard an obvious rocket scientist. She says "Oh my god, is tailgating really such a problem here? I didn't realize there were so many people partying here at work, that you have to put up posters." Like people at grillin in the garage. Dumbass!

Last weekend we went to Wally World. What a high class of people we run into there. Literally. We are in an isle, and I'm stopped to the right. (Because this is America! Okay?) A lady is walking towards me on the right side, and out of nowhere she switches sides and stops leaving her cart directly in front of me with her kid in the basket area. Like maybe a foot away, tops. And I'm thinking "What the Hell is wrong with this idiot?". Once she grabs a few items she goes to keep moving around me, but rams the front of my cart. I guess I was supposed to get out of her way while she was gone or something. So I'm like "Um, what am I a mirage? What is wrong with this idiot?"

A few isles over I see her again. This time she leaves her cart in the middle of the isle where you can't pass on either side, and walks off to grab more crap. Well damnit I had to get past, so I made sure to return the favor and I rammed her cart out of the way. Hard! And her kid was like "Ow!" which made me laugh hysterically. And probably look like a psycho asshole to the other patrons who did not see our earlier interaction. But I don't care, it made me happy.

Tonight I finally decided to blog. I was going, I was in the flow, then suddenly the power went out. Must have been the terrible clear skies we've been experiencing. It flickered back on once or twice, just to make sure it takes out every piece of electronic equipment in the house, then it's down for the count. Luckily I can type on the laptop battery. Unfortunately I was at about 5% charge when it happened.

The worst part is, W1 was in the process of making cookies. They were on the baking sheet ready to go.

(Note: This was ready to be posted Thursday Night.)

If it's a father and son company ask for the father.*

2009-07-07T21:08:00.001-05:00

When we last spoke it was before my departmental party. We were put on teams, we played games, I rode a tricycle, and I was a teddy bear wrangler. Correct, a teddy bear wrangler. There were sheets, and teddy bears, and teams, and tossing, and a whole mess of nonsense. Including tug of war.

I was on the losing, er, I mean, red team. My team consisted of mainly marketing personnel. What a bunch of tenderfeet. Yours truly was the Anchor Man. Except these jerks all let go of the rope. Like on Revenge of the Nerds. Except I was inside the loop of rope at the end. No bueno.

But things got better. We got a 4th of July visit from the S-clan. It was a great time to see everyone again. The St. Arnold Brewery was sweet. Love ya sis! Well, before that was a week with Ian. Good times at Suck Willies. Even though the waitress was worthless.

I also forgot to mention, before that was the convalidation. It was really great to see everyone again. Thank you Mom and Pop for all the work you put into it. Everything was wonderful. And I really loved the red velvet cake.

Okay you guys, quit interrupting. You're breaking my train of thought. Where was I? Oh yeah. Sometimes when I'm picking out my work clothes I notice they don't match. And then I think to myself "I don't really care if my clothes match."

Speaking of work, not a lot of fun lately. It pays the bills and I am thankful to be where I am but damn, does every day have to suck? Okay, it's not that bad but it has been busy, and a bit stressful. I've had missing shipments, and insane amounts of equipment arriving. Everyone needs everything, yesterday. And it takes me hours to sort through email. Every morning. No, really.

Thank you and good day. :)

* Hank Hill

Everyone's talkin about the good ol days.

2009-06-12T21:12:00.000-05:00

Do you hear my phone ringing?

2009-06-10T20:53:00.001-05:00

With the bike working I was up on my high horse. When you're up there, the only place left to go is down. Since the project I've been working on has been a big let down all week, I had no reason to think today would be different. And guess what I learned? Today wouldn't be any different.

After running around like crazy I was back on the phone with "support". I use that term lightly. For the 3rd time this week I had to call the support people in India. The first time I called them today I was asked for my employee number. After that I went into the issue I was having. It did not take long before I was getting no response. Apparently the guy I spoke with didn't realize he was supposed to work for his money and had hung up on me.

So I called back. After giving my employee number I tried a different route. I gave them the number for the issue I was working on. After a minute I could hear him breathe across his headset microphone. I assumed he was waiting for the screen to refresh. Until I could hear the faint snore. I asked if he was awake and got a startled "Uh, yeah..." "Are you looking up my issue?" "Uh, yeah..." It wasn't 15 seconds later when I heard the breathing again. Followed shortly after with deeper snores! Yes, you read that right. He fell asleep on the phone. Twice! This time (mind you I've been working on this for 3 days) I had it. I slammed the phone receiver on my desk 10 times rapid fire, then yelled in the phone "ARE YOU AWAKE?"

That was the 2nd time I was hung up on, today. All I can say my friends is "You get what you pay for." Needless to say, on my 3rd call I got the guys name before going into my issue. It is supposed to be resolved. I guess we'll see tomorrow. I'm not getting my hopes up.

Now where did I leave that "fairy bell"?

2009-06-09T21:04:00.000-05:00

I was so angry today I would have punched Billy Gillette in the face! I was prepared to take out a Craigslist ad stating "Football found. Come get it." And when he arrived, BAM, I punch him in the face.

I made the comment to W1 this morning how "I can't get to work on time. If I leave 20 minutes early, or 10 minutes late, I walk through the door at 9:03 in the AM. What the Hell?". So this morning I was prepared, we headed out the door about 15 minutes earlier than normal. W1 even made the comment "You're gonna be on time today." to which I responded "No guarantee's there." and we both laughed. She jumped in her ride and headed off. I jumped on the bike, pulled down the choke, placed it in neutral, turned the key, and pressed the starter. After a popping noise, all the lights went dead. I made an angry face at the gauge cluster, turned the key off then on again, hit the starter, and POP! No more lights! Dammit!!!

After fiddling with the kill switch, the choke, and the starter for 5-10 minutes, I gave up and went back inside. Took off my boots, put away my helmet and jacket, and sulked to the parking garage to get in the truck. At least it started.

I walked through the front door at 9:03 AM on the dot. No bullshit! I looked on my cell phone as I was walking through. The rest of the day went about the same way. I had to call a few people about some work I was trying to get done, and it got me nowhere.

The day couldn't end quick enough. I finally headed home just in time for our exercise. Once that was over I headed outside to take the bike apart. I figited with the battery and the lights came on. I hit the starter and POP! DAMMIT!!! I tried to test the voltage on the battery but the battery in my multimeter was dead. I mean really? Seriously? Come on!

After changing that battery I discovered I had 12 volts on the bike battery. That's not a good sign. Well, it is, but it isn't. I went ahead and tightened both battery leads down as tight as they would go and gave it one last shot. And the bike fired right up. I guess over the last few years the screws that hold the battery leads on vibrated loose. It almost seems like the same thing happened to me around 4 years ago when I first got the bike. Unfortunately "Big Boy" wasn't there to fix it for me this time.

So, as the night winds down things are looking up (and I'll be putting that "Gremlin Bell" on the bike tomorrow). I'm not as sore after exercising as I was yesterday. And hopefully I won't toss and turn until well after midnight tonight. Even if I do, I get to ride the bike in tomorrow, so all is good. As cousin Tim would say "Sa-weet!".

I was taught no lesson.

2009-05-28T00:08:00.000-05:00

So I was able to enjoy some quiet time in court today. H2, all I can say is, please have pity on a few of the people you pull over. Or not. Screw em! They ain't me.

So I was awarded the joy of getting up at the butt crack of dawn, for my next ticket. Today seemed like any other day. I assumed I'd be arriving for my pre trial hearing, or the arraignment. Whatever. 30 minutes tops. In and out. (That's what she said.) Not so much. Apparently I was not invited to these events. This was the real deal. I wish I would have shaved.

Oh the joy of a Houston courthouse. So as I relax in a standing position (Officer Friendly kept us in line) I could overhear the conversation of a couple nearby. Apparently one of the lawyers was not to their liking. Every time she opened her mouth I had to hear his. "Oh yeah, there she goes again jabbing her jaws". For an hour and a half okay? It got to the point where I didn't want to see her come around because I didn't want to hear his mouth. "Every person who comes out, she has to jabber her jaws to." Um, she's a freakin lawyer dude, that's what she does. While standing around for all this nonsense the guy next to me had to be really nervous. During his swaying back and forth he was constantly bumping into me. I "blew up" and took up as much space as possible without being obvios but it did not phase him. "Dude, it's traffic court. You're not being charged with Grand Larcony. Chill."

So while I'm standing there, a seat comes open, next to the jackass. I get front row seats to this guys commentary. Then, finally, his wife's turn arrives. I guess the other lawyer has also listened to his crap because she brings her client outside to speak with her. Maybe it was the "They wrote on the ticket traffic was light." Followed by his "Screw that. Tell her there was no traffic. Feed her as much bullshit as you need to." He had tons of info to share with her. Okay dude, this is your lawyer. Don't start lying until the Judge shows up.

After what seemed to be an eternity (it was at least 2-3 hours) I get to meet with my counsel. She asks what happened and I told her "They pulled me over for doing 80 in a 65." She tells me "Well yeah, but what happened? How fast were you actually going?" "Um, about 75 - 80." Her response "So you really just want this off your record?"

Back to my seat. I returned to where I was, still listening to the pissed guy who appeared to be there to "support" his lovely wife. His lovely wife who sat there doing crossword puzzles. I had to listen to this jackass for 2 hours while his wife tuned him out and did crossword puzzles. I wanted to rip his throat out.

Flashback: Last ticket was going twice as fast over and they got me for not using blinkers. Two court visits lasting about 45 minutes together. This time, half as fast over and lots of waiting. But after 4 more months of waiting I am making out $5 cheaper this time.

So back to my attorney. She sat there going through the list with the other attorneys. The way it seems to work here is, if the cop doesn't show up on trial day, you automatically win the case. My attorney? She did not have 1 officer skip today's date. She had 30+ clients where the rest had 5, tops. They literally gave her a whole box. They came out with 4 boxes, 1 was hers. And guess what. Every officer showed up. She did not get to dismiss any to begin with. (Hint hint.)

While I sat and waited I tuned into a conversation going on behind me. A lady was telling the guy next to her how she doesn't care if she gets the points, she thinks her ticket is bullshit, and she wants a jury of her peers to decide it. She had pictures and everything. I think the best part was when she was finally called up (second to last, long after she began her tirade) and she commenced to telling her attorney "I don't care if you represent me or not. I have pictures and I want to fight this. I don't care if I get points on my license or not." When her attorney replied "Hey, you paid your $35. I am hired to represent your case. This ain't my first rodeo, I've been doing this for two years." I almost peed myself. The sad part is, while I was standing in line to pay my $5 less than last time in fines, she came out saying her case was dropped.

Flash forward to the conversation between W1 and I tonight. "That lady had me so hyped I wanted to have a jury trial just on principal." The response I received "Her case was based on changing speed limits in construction areas. No signs, she had pictures..." Your case in based on "Come on... 80 in a 65? Come on..." So yeah, I guess she stood a better chance.

Okay, and the outfits were crazy. You're gong to court people, not Wal Mart! The sweat pants. I have to laugh. You know how they have the 2 holes where the strings come out? Yeah, only one string coming out. Where is the other one? Buried somewhere in the waistband. You're in court people! I mean really, come on. And the fact that she borrowed her Grade School sister's pink tee shirt didn't help. We also had designer tee shirt guy, my own landscaping company tee shirt guy, etc... Interesting group. But the outcome was still the same. This is something I may need to consider next time. Why get dressed up for all this nonsense, when I can represent my favorite local boy band?

Bottom line, my 1 hour late arrival to work changed to a 3:00 PM visit to make sure everything was cool. I had to pay a fine I was not expecting, and a few months from now I have to send them $60 more, or sit in the 2 hour line again to pay it in person. I've had better days. Today is one of those days when I remember why we use to smoke. And at the same time, quitting is why we can afford the fines.

Sometimes I really miss NOLA.

Now I have your football. What did you learn?

2009-05-23T20:46:00.001-05:00

I was riding in to work the other morning and I passed a dodge ram that caught my eye. Dark tinted windows and a flat black paint job. When I got closer I realized the paint job looked like those spray in bed liners. That black, bumpy, scratchy texture. But it was the whole truck. It looked mean as hell. I want that!

Work was a little insane last week. Take two days off and spend the whole next week catching up. Then as a bonus, we got a few different samples of the new stuff coming in this season. So that added to my workload. But the way things are around there I'd much rather be over worked than looking for something to do.

Since it is Memorial Day weekend I took some initiative and cut the guys in our lab loose a few hours early. Talk about a wild abuse of power. I really just wanted to leave early myself, but would have felt guilty taking off and leaving them all there.

We had our annual kind of work but not really BBQ today. And by that I mean, it's a BBQ that Coworker-R has been having with his old group every year. It consists of about 8 - 10 people that now work in various places, and they get together for a non work sponsored event. I was invited into this elite group a few years back on account of how cool I am, and we have been hanging with them ever since. It wasn't bad. We arrived a little late, as did our group. They were unable to secure our usual table, and we ended up with an uncovered picnic table. After a few hours a group left and we were able to take their covered area. And none too soon. Maybe 45 minutes later the sky opened up. And in the middle of the storm, a football fell from the sky. Yep, you heard that correctly, from the sky. There was nobody anywhere around and the football bounced on the ground next to us. (I'm actually guessing little Billy Gillette from the earlier party kicked it on the roof, or in a tree.) I went ahead and picked it up, crossed out the "GILLETTE" written across the side with a sharpie, and commenced to playing with my new football. Serves Billy (I'm just guessing the first name there) right for trying to be a show off. I can just see him now. "Hey everybody, watch how high I can kick the ball". How do you feel now Billy? You went home empty handed.

I know I am way behind, and I don't want to leave anyone out from last weekend. Congratulations, thanks, miss and love you all. We had such a great time and I can't wait to see everyone again.

The mean muggin makes it!

2009-05-07T11:10:00.000-05:00

This was emailed to me this morning.

Now you know it's funny.

2009-05-04T20:24:00.000-05:00

Love that chicken...

2009-05-03T20:54:00.000-05:00

Hey I-Buddy, sorry about the leg / ankle. That sucks!!!

I just saw a Popeye's commercial and it said "Louisiana Fast". Am I the only one amused by these 2 words together?

Friday was strange, it started out fun, I got to act up. It kinda sucked as the day moved on. But the weekend was nice. And I just found out there is a Beatles Rock Band coming out, so things can only get better.

I headed to work Friday morning, same as usual. I was happy that the weekend was almost in my grasp. I head out of the apartment complex and immediately hit bumper to bumper traffic. I remembered the day before I noticed construction so I immediately u-turned to take my original route. (After 3 plus years you learn a few ways to your job.) I end up in the turning lane for Briar Forest when I see someone out of the corner of my eye.

Houston is a little different than New Orleans in the sense that on every other corner there is someone looking for change of wanting to clean your windshield.

So I act like I don't see this guy, in typical Houston fashion. But he is persistent. He asks me if I'm heading to the belt. I tell him "No" (even though I was, I don't know you). He then asks "Are you heading up Briar Forest?". Naw, I'm in the turning lane to cut people off at the last second and go straight and ruin everyone's Friday! Okay actually my response was "Huh? That's your business because?". At this point he started to get shitty. (And that's makes me want to do you a favor even more.) He says "I was just gonna jump in the back of your truck for a ride, what's your problem?". I told him I did not feel comfortable with that, and that it was not safe. At this point traffic moved and so did I.

I made it almsot all of the way to work. I was on 249 when I was coming up on a work van. The kind that has a cage separating the back from the 2 front seats. The van was doing about 55, me, 70. As I was pulling up on the van I saw a guy in the back staring at me. As I got closer, I realized he was inded staring at me. WTF dude? Quit staring at me! So as i got close to the van I made a silly face and shot him the bird. Yeah, that's right! Quit staring at me, you!

Once I got to work things looked like they were going well. Some systems I was having problems with worked, and it was Friday. That was until about 9:30 am when my big boss informed me they were letting one of our tech's go. Not my choice out of the three. Actually, my last choice out of the three. But they don't consult me on these decisions, so whatever. But they didn't have to inform me two hours before it happened. So I had to look him in the face two hours before he was unexpededly fired. Not a good feeling I tell you.

We also went to Wally World yesterday and I got my badass cart again. This time, I took a picture. See, I don't care, at Walmart your cart needs to be something badass! You can't just roll up in that joint average, represent people! Come on!

Now Jack's thinkin Arby's.

2009-04-26T17:13:00.000-05:00

We stopped at Arby's for lunch today. While we were eating a commercial came on for Jack in the Box. I thought that was amusing. They may also want to reconsider which radio station they have playing. The commercial was good too. I was ready to throw the Arby's in the trash, and head up the road to Jack in the Box.

* The more that things change, the more they stay the same...

2009-04-22T20:31:00.000-05:00

To answer W1's question, Rush - Hemispheres is what we played next. And speaking of W1, I found footage of W1's test drive from the Scion Dealership. She loved that car. As soon as she got out we bought her one.

* Rush - Circumstances

Receipt available inside.

2009-04-17T22:13:00.000-05:00

What's the point of paying at the pump, if I have to go inside for the receipt?

I was highly amused at the grocery store today. We were standing in front of the insect killers, bug spray, flea foggers, etc... when a huge fly lands on the shelf. It just doesn't say much for those products.

I saved a few bucks doing the brakes on the car and truck myself. I was proud. Except, taking the tires off the truck I discovered I needed to replace all four of them. To quote W1 "It is what it is.". On a good note I have tires that grip properly, and I won't have to put air in the front tire every other week.

It is now Saturday and we went to Wally World. Last week we were planning on steaming some veggies and forgot to put water in the pot. After about 10 minutes we realized we had just ruined our pot. So while we were there I got more pot. This thing is awesome. It has steamer basket, noodle colander, etc all built in. Sweet. Oddly enough it is not listed on Wal-Mart's site, but it was $50. The manufacturer's site lists it as $145.95. I guess we got a deal.

Still not smoking. I miss it sometimes but it has become a lot easier to ignore the cravings. I have put on a few pounds though, I ain't gonna lie. Oh well, once again "it is what it is". Work keeps me busy though so I'm not thinking about it so much. The down side is it has been so busy I don't have time to read the news, or surf the web. The nerve of these people expecting me to work at work.

It stormed most of the day, but died down right around the time we headed out. Lotta crazies out there. Like the guy at Wal Mart with my shopping cart. Last time we went there were none inside so we had to search in the parking lot. As we were walking across there were 2 by the door. A lady with a kid came out of nowhere and grabbed one. I picked up the pace and snatched the other. It was then that I realized how badass my cart was. This thing was intimidating. It had seating for 2 unruly children in the front. When I rounded the corner people got out of the way. So I had to laugh when I saw a little bitty dude pushing it around today.

Well, that's gonna have to do it for now.

I'm the boss!

2009-04-15T21:36:00.000-05:00

This is definitely not work safe! (But ironically it was sent to me at work.) Suggestive language and what not. Okay, it's just bad all around! But it's still funny as shit! At least to me. Total corporate america. I'm the boss.